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Band 6

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.

#people #advertisements #products #lives
Nowadays, product advertising is more popular and buying unnecessary consumption
also
 happens more often. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new
products
 that may improve our lives. In my opinion, advertising is exaggerating the benefits of the product to make users believe and buy more of it. First of all,
it is clear that
 advertising is an important and effective means to exaggerate
products
 and direct users to buy unnecessary or worthless things. Advertising has lost its inherent value. Compared to the past, e-cigarettes were advertised and were very successful in the 2000s, saving many people from tuberculosis and lung cancer.
However
, currently, the market has become saturated, so it is difficult for revolutionary
products
 with personality to have a chance to develop. Even if developed, life-changing
products
 will still have difficulty reaching customers because advertising channels have been taken over by large corporations that only want to advertise their own
products
.
Furthermore
, companies often exaggerate minor features of the
products
 they promote.
For example
, smartphones
such
 as
samsung
Change the capitalization
Samsung
show examples
/
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 are advertised a lot for their functions and are very useful, but in
reality
Add a comma
reality,
show examples
 they are not like that. Companies often care about selling
products
, not about user attitudes and experiences. There are companies that hire celebrities to advertise their
products
 to attract their fans, many people will buy because they love their idols, not because of the
products
. In conclusion, advertising is increasingly exaggerating the functions of
products
, so before buying anything, please research and think carefully to avoid buying unnecessary items.
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments. This will help in providing a fuller, more convincing response.
task achievement
Some claims need to be supported with evidence or further explanation. Ensure each main point is well-developed.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow. This will enhance the coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Focus on clearly connecting your supporting evidence to your main points to make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You have a clear stance throughout the essay, which adds strength to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • persuade
  • manipulative
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • artificial needs
  • desires
  • consumers
  • oversaturation
  • impulse buying
  • financial problems
  • inform
  • educate
  • features
  • benefits
  • innovations
  • raise awareness
  • social issues
  • positive behavior
  • enrich
  • well-being
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