Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore school should not waste valuable time having sports as part of curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sports
play an indispensable role
in promoting health
and overall
well-being. The debate over whether parents
or schools
should bear the responsibility for children
's physical activities remains contentious. However
, I strongly disagree with the view that schools
should exclude sports
from their curricula. Instead
, I believe that the responsibility for children
's physical health
should be a shared effort between both schools
and parents
. This
essay will argue why it is essential to include sports
as part of the academic curriculum while
also
emphasizing the role
of parents
in fostering their children
's physical well-being.
First and foremost, integrating sports
into school
curricula is crucial because it teaches students essential life skills that extend beyond physical fitness. Participating in sports
fosters teamwork, discipline, and resilience—qualities that are invaluable in both personal and professional settings. When students engage in group activities such
as football, volleyball, or relay races, they learn the importance of working as a cohesive unit towards common objectives. This
collaborative learning environment not only enhances communication and cooperation skills but also
builds character, laying a strong foundation for future success. Therefore
, sports
in schools
serve a dual purpose: they not only promote physical health
but also
contribute to the holistic development of students.
Furthermore
, the school
setting provides a structured environment where children
can engage in regular physical activity under the guidance of trained professionals. Physical education teachers are equipped to ensure that children
participate in exercises that are appropriate for their age and fitness levels, thereby reducing the risk of injury and promoting long-term health
. Additionally
, the inclusion of sports
in the curriculum helps to instil a routine of physical activity, which is crucial for combating the rising rates of childhood obesity and related health
issues.
On the other hand
, the role
of parents
in ensuring their children
's physical health
cannot be understated. Parents
have the advantage of spending more time with their children
outside of school
hours, allowing them to monitor and encourage healthy behaviors
consistently. Change the spelling
behaviours
For example
, parents
can introduce their children
to various physical activities during weekends or vacations, ensuring that they remain active even outside of school
. Moreover
, parents
can influence their children
's dietary habits, making sure that they are consuming nutritious meals that support their physical development. In this
way, parents
complement the efforts of schools
by reinforcing healthy practices at home.
In conclusion, both schools
and parents
have a critical role
to play in ensuring that children
maintain regular physical activity. While
schools
provide a structured environment where children
can learn the importance of teamwork and discipline through sports
, parents
reinforce these values by encouraging healthy habits at home. Therefore
, rather than viewing physical education as a waste of time, it should be seen as a vital component of a well-rounded education that prepares children
for the challenges of the future.Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on
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task achievement
Your essay delivers a well-rounded argument that convincingly supports your stance. However, to enhance the Task Achievement criterion further, providing even more diverse and specific examples can strengthen your argumentation. Drawing on a variety of sources or more precise case studies could make your points more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is well-structured and the logical flow of ideas is evident, you can still improve coherence and cohesion by using a greater variety of linking words and phrases. This would make the transitions between paragraphs and within them smoother, further clarifying the relationship between your arguments.
task achievement
You have done an excellent job in providing a thorough and comprehensive answer to the question, which covers multiple dimensions of the issue. Your arguments are well-developed and clearly presented.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically into the next, ensuring that your argument is easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example