Physical fitness is essential for a healthy lifestyle. How important is it for schools to include physical education in their curriculum, and what can be done to ensure students remain active outside of school

Exercise is important for maintaining body health. In my personal opinion,
schools
should teach
students
about physical
fitness
because it can encourage them to adopt a healthy lifestyle.
Schools
should
also
organize
sports
competitions
, and every educational building should have a gym.
Firstly
, maintaining a healthy lifestyle requires attention from a young age.
Therefore
,
schools
should include a physical
fitness
subject in the curriculum for every class.
This
is important because
students
need to know how to maintain their health and lead a healthy lifestyle.
For example
, when
students
understand the importance of walking daily, they may try to walk every day.
Secondly
, if educational institutions want to ensure that
students
practice
sports
outside of school in their everyday lives, they should organize
sports
competitions
,
such
as football matches between different classes.
This
approach will help to motivate
students
and make them love physical
fitness
.
As a result
, when they enjoy
sports
, they will practice them whether at school or outside.
Finally
, another important measure to encourage exercise is to add gyms and
sports
fields to educational buildings.
In other words
, universities,
schools
, and institutes should include a gym that allows
students
to exercise during long breaks.
Moreover
, when
students
have access to a
sports
field, they can organize
sports
competitions
themselves.
For instance
, providing a volleyball court enables
students
to organize and hold their own volleyball leagues.
To sum up
, it is important to add physical
fitness
to the curriculum and ensure that
students
lead active lives.
Sports
competitions
should be held in
schools
, and gyms should be provided in educational buildings
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt by discussing both the importance of including physical education in schools and suggestions for keeping students active outside of school. To further improve the response within the task achievement criteria, provide a few more specific examples or expand on the ones given.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow. However, slight improvements could be made by adding clearer transitions between paragraphs. This will make your ideas flow more smoothly and improve coherence. Consider using phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'Moreover' to enhance transitions.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each main point is fully supported with detailed explanations or examples. For instance, when mentioning organizing sports competitions, you might add more details about the types of activities that could be included, or how these competitions could become a regular part of school life.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are addressed logically, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the context and states the author's opinion. The conclusion summarizes the key points, reinforcing the argument presented in the essay.
supported main points
The author provides relevant points about the importance of physical education and ways to keep students active. These points are clearly linked to the essay prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, with a good level of detail explaining why physical fitness is vital. The essay makes a strong case for including physical education in the curriculum.
relevant specific examples
Specific examples, such as organizing football matches or providing a volleyball court, make the essay more engaging and practical. This demonstrates the author's ability to suggest relevant and specific solutions.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: