Some people say that team sports are more beneficial than individual sports. What are the benefits of playing in the team? How can it help later in life?

#people #team #sports #life

In some cases,

team

sports are more beneficial than individual sports. In

this

essay, I think that playing in a

team

can provide the chance for

cooperation

and believe that it can improve communication and interpersonal

skills

for better in the future.

To begin

with, staging a

team

sport can indeed provide certain advantages in terms of

cooperation

This

is because an outstanding

team

need to communicate consistently.

For instance

, the USA basketball

team

won the gold prize in the 2024 Olympics recently. Before winning the gold prize, the coaches and

players

this

team

must communicate continuously, try to regulate the most powerful strategies, and ultimately defeat other competitors.

Furthermore

, with gradually cooperating, the chemical effects of the

team

are another vitally important factor to help them win each game.

Consequently

this

team

presents the importance of

cooperation

. After cultivating beneficent

cooperation

, individuals may be more likely to go

further

to train their communication and interpersonal

skills

cooperation

is the fundamental of the two crucial

skills

For example

, the extraordinary basketball player, Lebron James, is very good at communicating and interacting with other

players

. Instances

such

as passing the ball to help others receive assistance, sending expensive smartphones to other

players

whom James plays with, and holding charity to alleviate some financial problems in those poor families.

Moreover

, James usually uses his cooperative ability to connect with other

players

, thereby winning the NBA championship.

As a result

, these sufficiently illustrate that having a strong

cooperation

skill can cause many comprehensive benefits. In conclusion,

team

sports undoubtedly provide some advantages, especially in

cooperation

In addition

this

benefit supports humans in developing other significant

skills

such

as communication and interpersonal

skills

later in life.

Submitted by daniellin0717 on Mon Aug 12 2024

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task response

While the essay addresses the prompt well, some points can be further elaborated. Provide additional detailed examples and explanations to better support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure is generally good, but transitions between ideas can be smoother. Use more transitional phrases to improve the flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay. Strengthen the conclusion by reiterating the main benefits of team sports clearly.

task response

The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas related to the benefits of team sports.

task response

The paragraph on LeBron James provides a relevant and specific example, which adds credibility to the argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the writer's viewpoint, making it easy for the reader to follow the essay's main arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that team sports are more beneficial than individual sports. What are the benefits of playing in the team? How can it help later in life?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?