Nowadays many young people are drawn towards dangerous sports. What makes them so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimise the risks?

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The attraction towards dangerous

sports

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is becoming increasingly popular among the younger generations. In

this

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essay, I am going to explain why these types of

sports

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are getting so much attention and what can we do to make them safer. Turning

firstly

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to the reason behind their popularity, in the 21st century, young people are actively looking for any type of rush or adrenaline. With a life spent mostly behind a computer screen, the need for a rush of excitement and fear is becoming more popular.

For example

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, by seeking out dangerous

activities

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, teenagers get to experience a state of pure terror and euphoria all at once.

This

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temporary feeling can help them take their mind off of things and simply live in the moment.

Additionaly

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Additionally

, it can be a great bonding activity to do with friends

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apply

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or to record and share on social media.

On the other hand

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, there are many risks to participating in potentially life-threatening

activities

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. Young people are usually ineducated on how to perform adrenaline

sports

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safely

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apply

show examples

and are prone to getting injured or seriously hurt. Let's take rock climbing as an example.

While

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it sounds like a safe sport, without proper training and safety measures, it can quickly become deadly.

Therefore

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, as a society, we need to educate the younger generation on how to do the sport properly without sustaining injuries

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and inform them of all the potential risks that come with partaking in

such

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dangerous

activities

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. In conclusion, by participating in adrenaline

sports

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activities

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, teenagers get to unwind and forget about their troubles and everyday problems.

However

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, in order to be able to do these

sports

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safely, everyone should be informed about the risks and possible dangers.

SofMon Aug 12 2024

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coherence and cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, aim to create a smoother flow between paragraphs. Use more transitional phrases to link ideas within and between the paragraphs.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, provide a broader range of specific examples. A wider variety of illustrations will demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic and strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear, but try to provide a more detailed analysis for some points. For instance, delve deeper into why young people are particularly attracted to dangerous sports and explore broader societal factors.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.

task achievement

You have addressed both parts of the task by explaining the reasons behind the attraction to dangerous sports and suggesting measures to minimize risks.

task achievement

Your essay maintains a relevant focus throughout and provides specific examples to support your points, such as the discussion on rock climbing.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Extreme sports
Adrenaline rush
Thrill-seeking
Emotional experience
Peer pressure
Social influence
Community
Glamorous
Idolize
Safety protocols
Regulations
Certification
Equipment checks
Professionals and experts
Supervision
Guidance
Prevent accidents
Informed consent
Age restrictions

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Nowadays many young people are drawn towards dangerous sports. What makes them so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimise the risks?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages?

You visited local beach and found out that there is a rubbish problem. In your letter: Describe the problem How it affects people on the beach Suggest what you want to do about them

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many schools find it profitable to sell unhealthy food and sugary drinks to students during lunch breaks. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.