Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The debate over whether young
people
should be required to pursue full-time
education
until the age of 18 is a contentious one.
While
some argue that flexibility should be allowed based on individual circumstances, I strongly agree that full-time
education
until 18 is crucial for several reasons.
Firstly
, staying in full-time
education
until 18 ensures that young
people
acquire a comprehensive knowledge base and essential life skills.
This
period allows students to delve deeper into subjects and develop critical thinking abilities, which are vital for their future academic and professional endeavours.
For instance
, subjects like mathematics, science, and literature not only provide foundational knowledge but
also
enhance problem-solving and analytical skills, which are crucial in any career path.
Secondly
, the job market today is highly competitive, and higher educational qualifications often translate to better job opportunities. By remaining in full-time
education
until 18, students are more likely to complete secondary
education
, which is often the minimum requirement for many jobs.
Furthermore
,
this
preparation is necessary for those who wish to pursue higher
education
, significantly improving their career prospects and earning potential.
Additionally
, full-time
education
until 18 plays a critical role in personal and social development. Schools provide a structured environment where young
people
can engage in social interactions, participate in extracurricular activities, and learn about teamwork, leadership, and time management. These experiences are invaluable and contribute to the
overall
development of well-rounded individuals who can contribute positively to society. In conclusion, full-time
education
until the age of 18 is essential for equipping young
people
with the knowledge, skills, and experiences needed to thrive in today's world.
While
there should be alternative pathways for those with different learning preferences and career goals, the standard should be full-time
education
to ensure a strong foundation for all.
Submitted by sarumanandhar36 on

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task achievement
To enhance the essay further, consider providing specific data or real-life examples to back up the argument. For instance, statistics on employment rates among those who complete secondary education could strengthen the point about better job opportunities.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas across the paragraphs. While the essay is generally well-structured, incorporating synonyms or transitional phrases can enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This contributes to the overall readability and coherence.
task achievement
The argument is well-developed with a strong position taken and reasons clearly articulated, addressing the task comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Good use of topic sentences and concluding statements in body paragraphs to address the main points, aiding in the support of the argument.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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