IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In various parts of the globe,
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is a luxury and can only be afforded by the wealthy. Proponents believe that medical services should be made free of cost and accessible by the authorities. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument as it promotes a healthy population contributing to a prosperous economy and improving socio-economic status.
Firstly
Linking Words
, access to
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is a fundamental right of every citizen. A healthier population is more productive, contributing to the economy of the country. When people are not burdened by heavy medical bills, they can allocate their assets to different sectors
such
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 as education and business, which can
further
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 stimulate the economy. In my own country, public health services
such
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 as free vaccination drives and subsidizing
healthcare
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 significantly impacted the population, from eradicating Polio to giving financial security to low-income families.
Secondly
Linking Words
, providing free
healthcare
Use synonyms
 improves socio-economic status, In countries where
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is expensive and paid, only the rich have access to the best treatment.
This
Linking Words
 disparity deepens the gap between socio-economic classes.
Whereas
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, universal
healthcare
Use synonyms
 levels the playing field and gives every individual an equal opportunity to live a healthy life, essential for social harmony and justice.
However
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, it is important to note that free
healthcare
Use synonyms
 can burden the national budget which is a valid concern.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to a spike in taxation and inflation costs.
Thus
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, it is important to allocate funds carefully without harming the economic status of the country. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
healthcare
Use synonyms
 should be a free service provided by the government. Ensuring universal access to
healthcare
Use synonyms
 is essential not only for improving individual well-being but
also
Linking Words
 to contribute to a fair and equal society.

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coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, you might want to briefly reiterate the main points discussed in your essay. This will provide a stronger closing statement.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph clearly connects back to the thesis statement. This will enhance the overall coherence of your argument.
task achievement
Consider explaining the economic implications of free healthcare in slightly more detail to strengthen your argument in that area.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the issue and is well-structured with separate paragraphs for each main point.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments which helps strengthen your case for universal healthcare.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
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