IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that rich countries should increase the acceptance of
newcoming
Correct your spelling
becoming
 foreigners and provide them with basic life necessities. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
this
Linking Words
 option contributes
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 finding cheap workers and gives
a new opportunities
Correct the article-noun agreement
new opportunities
a new opportunity
show examples
 for incomers to build a new life. Accepting more
people
Use synonyms
 from other nations might be a very good investment for the future. It is obvious that most refugees will be young
people
Use synonyms
, who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to find a job there. If the
country
Use synonyms
 accepts them,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new wave of cheap labour force will arrive there.
For example
Linking Words
, in my
country
Use synonyms
, many young
people
Use synonyms
 come from Uzbekistan seeking work
due to
Linking Words
 economic crises in their own
country
Use synonyms
.
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
 that
way
Add a comma
way,
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 Kazakhstan gets a working force, which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 develop the
country
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
 should support the foreigners for future
developing
Replace the word
development
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 of the
country
Use synonyms
. Giving a humanitarian aim,
such
Linking Words
 as providing food and housing, can wake up the desire to move to the developed
country
Use synonyms
 inside the
people
Use synonyms
 from less-developed countries.
This
Linking Words
 brings to increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of citizens, which can make the
country
Use synonyms
 more powerful in the world arena.
For instance
Linking Words
, Kazakhstan provides an accommodation aim for incomers from Karakalpakstan.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, about 200.000 Karakalpaks live in Kazakhstan and work for local infrastructure. In conclusion, wealthy countries should allow
people
Use synonyms
 from poor nations
come
Fix the infinitive
to come
show examples
 inside a
country
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 and help them with first accommodation. It is recommended that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 take steps to keep
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 eye on refugees because all of them want to build their dream lives, despite their
burth
Correct your spelling
birth
 in poor
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 decision contributes
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
progression for both sides.

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task achievement
Strengthen your argument by adding more specific examples and data to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay can benefit from better paragraph transitions to improve the overall flow.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position, making it easy for the reader to understand your viewpoint.
relevant specific examples
Your essay presents relevant examples to support your main points, which enhances your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
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