Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that rich countries should increase the acceptance of
newcoming
foreigners and provide them with basic life necessities. I totally agree with Correct your spelling
becoming
this
statement because this
option contributes the
Change preposition
to the
country
finding cheap workers and gives a new opportunities
for incomers to build a new life.
Accepting more Correct the article-noun agreement
new opportunities
a new opportunity
people
from other nations might be a very good investment for the future. It is obvious that most refugees will be young people
, who wants
to find a job there. If the Change the verb form
want
country
accepts them, the
new wave of cheap labour force will arrive there. Correct article usage
a
For example
, in my country
, many young people
come from Uzbekistan seeking work due to
economic crises in their own country
. By
that Change preposition
In
way
Kazakhstan gets a working force, which Add a comma
way,
help
develop the Change the verb form
helps
country
.
Moreover
, nation
should support the foreigners for future Add an article
the nation
a nation
developing
of the Replace the word
development
country
. Giving a humanitarian aim, such
as providing food and housing, can wake up the desire to move to the developed country
inside the people
from less-developed countries. This
brings to increasing of
the number of citizens, which can make the Change preposition
apply
country
more powerful in the world arena. For instance
, Kazakhstan provides an accommodation aim for incomers from Karakalpakstan. In
Change preposition
As
the
result, about 200.000 Karakalpaks live in Kazakhstan and work for local infrastructure.
In conclusion, wealthy countries should allow Correct article usage
a
people
from poor nations come
inside a Fix the infinitive
to come
country
and help them with first accommodation. It is recommended that government
take steps to keep Correct article usage
the government
in
eye on refugees because all of them want to build their dream lives, despite their Correct your spelling
an
burth
in poor Correct your spelling
birth
country
. Fix the agreement mistake
countries
This
decision contributes a
progression for both sides.Change preposition
to a
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task achievement
Strengthen your argument by adding more specific examples and data to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay can benefit from better paragraph transitions to improve the overall flow.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position, making it easy for the reader to understand your viewpoint.
relevant specific examples
Your essay presents relevant examples to support your main points, which enhances your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite