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As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. What are the causes of this trend and what are the effects on society？

#countries #populations #units #trend #effects #society？
In
this
 contemporary epoch, the
people
's minds changed. They believe that they minimized the number of family members. They believe that
this
 can help them. In
this
 essay, I will elaborate on the causes of
this
 trend, and what are the drawbacks on the community. To commence with, there are a lot of commitments imposed on
people
. They are suffering from the inflation.
Therefore
, they decided to obtain a small family. They assume that they can protect their kids. They
also
 can provide them with a suitable lifestyle for them.
Moreover
, the parents will have the ability to take care of them in a fair way. They will be able to go to better schools and earn a higher education, and they will go to hospitals to have good care. A new study from Chicago University demonstrated that the reduced number of family members will raise the bond. They found that the ecstatic family is a family with confined members.
Furthermore
,
this
 can have both a good and bad effect.
Firstly
, the government will be able to provide a suitable life for these families. They can alleviate the taxes for them,
thus
, the burdens will diminish and the citizens will feel ecstatic.
For instance
, the Chinese government imposed a rule that every family can only have one kid. They offered them free education and health care and they will not charge any taxes.
On the other hand
,
this
 can decrease the number of
people
 in the country.
This
 can lead to a decrease in the ratio of youths. One of the sparked examples is Germany. The proportion of elderly increased. Most of the
people
 are old-aged and
this
 is reflected in the economy. In conclusion, there will be a debate on
this
 argument. The government should play a critical role in
this
 issue. It should stand with its citizens and provide them with more facilities.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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task achievement
You provided a generally clear response to the task and included some specific examples. However, the ideas could be more thoroughly developed, and some examples could be more relevant.
task achievement
Work on expanding your supporting points with more detailed arguments and evidence to reinforce your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth flow between points by using a variety of linking words and phrases. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a more structured introduction and conclusion. Make sure to clearly state your thesis at the beginning and summarize your main points at the end.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both the causes and effects of the trend as required by the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, which aids reader understanding.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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