IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualifications
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many learners want to
study
Use synonyms
 other
subjects
Use synonyms
 alongside their core
subjects
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 others take the opinion that paying attention and learning for qualifications by spending all their
time
Use synonyms
 is more vital. Personally, I believe that having the freedom to
study
Use synonyms
 additional courses would be more impactful for
students
Use synonyms
 than focusing exclusively on one area of
study
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are plenty of opportunities to explore more fields at the university.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by investigating more new information from other lessons, pupils would be able to use their knowledge which is obtained by other areas of
study
Use synonyms
 in real life.
For instance
Linking Words
, a lot of
students
Use synonyms
 in Kazakhstan tend to learn simultaneously main
subjects
Use synonyms
 and something else which they can select themselves;
consequently
Linking Words
, they are capable of choosing a number of lessons that they think
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 significant for them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I think that by knowing other areas,
students
Use synonyms
 in the future will be able to teach their children.
Thus
Linking Words
, it will be beneficial for tiny kids who can learn about a tremendous amount of new information
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their ages.
Finally
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 knowledge of diverse
subjects
Use synonyms
 can make
students
Use synonyms
 more versatile and adaptable in the job market, offering better career opportunities.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals prefer to say that it will take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
time
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
 multiple
subjects
Use synonyms
 and so on.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they believe that only
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 field is so crucial for their life and qualifications, declaring that they will have no
time
Use synonyms
 at all to
study
Use synonyms
 more classes. Admittedly, focusing solely on main
subjects
Use synonyms
 may lead to better academic performance but can
also
Linking Words
 increase stress and hamper
time
Use synonyms
 management.
This
Linking Words
 means that pupils would not be able to manage their
time
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, undergraduates may get some serious life-long traumas
due to
Linking Words
 the fact of increasing stress. In conclusion, I would prefer people to be able to choose what they will
study
Use synonyms
 in an academic centre rather than just studying only one main area which can bring stress and other problems.
Submitted by talgattan4ez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
For task achievement, ensure every argument is strongly supported with relevant examples. Expand on examples to make them more specific and illustrative.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Conjunctions and transitional words can help.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer distinction between your supporting and opposing viewpoints. Each argument should be clearly presented and sufficiently developed.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure for the response.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensible, and your opinion is evident throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Holistic development
  • - Broadening perspectives
  • - Critical thinking skills
  • - Versatile and adaptable
  • - Job market
  • - Interdisciplinary thinking
  • - Problem-solving skills
  • - Academic performance
  • - Stress management
  • - Time management
  • - In-depth knowledge
  • - Expertise
  • - Resource allocation
  • - Core subjects
  • - Chosen domains
What to do next:
Look at other essays: