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Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for qualifications. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualifications
Nowadays, many learners want to
study
 other
subjects
 alongside their core
subjects
,
whereas
 others take the opinion that paying attention and learning for qualifications by spending all their
time
 is more vital. Personally, I believe that having the freedom to
study
 additional courses would be more impactful for
students
 than focusing exclusively on one area of
study
.
To begin
 with, there are plenty of opportunities to explore more fields at the university.
Firstly
, by investigating more new information from other lessons, pupils would be able to use their knowledge which is obtained by other areas of
study
 in real life.
For instance
, a lot of
students
 in Kazakhstan tend to learn simultaneously main
subjects
 and something else which they can select themselves;
consequently
, they are capable of choosing a number of lessons that they think
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 significant for them.
Secondly
, I think that by knowing other areas,
students
 in the future will be able to teach their children.
Thus
, it will be beneficial for tiny kids who can learn about a tremendous amount of new information
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their ages.
Finally
,
it is clear that
 knowledge of diverse
subjects
 can make
students
 more versatile and adaptable in the job market, offering better career opportunities.
However
, some individuals prefer to say that it will take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of
time
 to
study
 multiple
subjects
 and so on.
Moreover
, they believe that only
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 field is so crucial for their life and qualifications, declaring that they will have no
time
 at all to
study
 more classes. Admittedly, focusing solely on main
subjects
 may lead to better academic performance but can
also
 increase stress and hamper
time
 management.
This
 means that pupils would not be able to manage their
time
.
Additionally
, undergraduates may get some serious life-long traumas
due to
 the fact of increasing stress. In conclusion, I would prefer people to be able to choose what they will
study
 in an academic centre rather than just studying only one main area which can bring stress and other problems.
Submitted by talgattan4ez on

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task achievement
For task achievement, ensure every argument is strongly supported with relevant examples. Expand on examples to make them more specific and illustrative.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Conjunctions and transitional words can help.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer distinction between your supporting and opposing viewpoints. Each argument should be clearly presented and sufficiently developed.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure for the response.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensible, and your opinion is evident throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Holistic development
  • - Broadening perspectives
  • - Critical thinking skills
  • - Versatile and adaptable
  • - Job market
  • - Interdisciplinary thinking
  • - Problem-solving skills
  • - Academic performance
  • - Stress management
  • - Time management
  • - In-depth knowledge
  • - Expertise
  • - Resource allocation
  • - Core subjects
  • - Chosen domains
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