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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people these days change career throughout their working life. What are the main reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development for them personally and for the society as a whole?

#people #change #career #life #development #society
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Nowadays
people
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change
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 their jobs throughout their working lives. There are many factors leading to
this
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 issue and there are advantages and disadvantages to the individual
as well as
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 the society they are living in.
This
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 essay will critically evaluate
further
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 about
this
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 issue
.
Rephrase
further.
show examples
 First and foremost, individuals may
change
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 careers
due to
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 economic factors. It is a common occurrence that
people
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 will look for financial incentives
such
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 as higher salaries in other fields. The need to
further
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 improve their income might be
also
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 driven by inflation and economic downturn.
Consequently
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, increased financial stability will in turn improve
one
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’s standard of living and quality of life.
Secondly
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,
people
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 may
change
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 jobs for better job satisfaction and personal fulfilment. To explain
this
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, at the initial phase of their
career
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,
one
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 may accept any job offer as a start even though it does not align with their desires. Eventually, along the way, they gain new insights
,
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apply
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 and new goals to pursue, or become more focused on their passion in life which influences them to
change
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 jobs. Turning to the next point,
one
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 of the advantages of
career
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change
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 is the person will have the opportunity to acquire new skills and experiences.
For example
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,
people
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 who have work experience in manufacturing and marketing will be equipped with skills and understanding of business ventures and enhance their creativity in the field.
In contrast
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, employers may suffer a loss of workforce and manpower
due to
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 frequent job changes.
Consequently
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, employers may need to spend time and money to train a highly skilled worker. By and large, salary increments, and personal preferences are some of the many reasons
people
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change
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 their careers. Improvement of
one
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’s skill is
one
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 of the advantages of
career
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change
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while
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one
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 of the setbacks to the employer is loss of manpower.
Therefore
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, it depends on the individuals to weigh the benefits of a
career
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change
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 to suit their needs
Submitted by nabilahabdmalek3452 on

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task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples or evidence for each point you make. This can illustrate and support your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the flow between different sections of the essay to ensure a smoother transition between ideas. This can improve overall coherence.
task achievement
You have successfully identified several significant reasons why people change careers. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Career transition
  • Job satisfaction
  • Financial incentives
  • Technological advancements
  • Skills obsolescence
  • Job stability
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Work-life balance
  • Career flexibility
  • Life-long learning
  • Social perceptions
  • Economic factors
  • Skill acquisition
  • Professional development
  • Societal trends
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