In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #countries #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In the modern era, with the development of society, the ageing

population

Use synonyms

has become a widespread concern in some countries and it will lead to bad implications. In the

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

following paragraphs, I will discuss the disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

issue with the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

. One of the major challenges of the growing

population

Use synonyms

of elderly people is that it puts a strain on the

government

Use synonyms

coffer. The

government

Use synonyms

ought to spend a larger budget for healthcare services and pensions in lieu of allocating money for technology and infrastructure development.

This

Linking Words

issue can cause not only overcrowding in healthcare and public services but

also

Linking Words

reduce welfare in one country. Another problem facing the proliferation of the elderly

population

Use synonyms

is that the proportion of citizens of working age will decline. There are a host of companies

as well as

Linking Words

industries that have trouble finding a workforce.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the young generation, who are considered to be the main contributor to the economy, have to spend more time taking care of their elderly parents and the concentration time on work will be reduced vastly.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

problem has an adverse bearing on the economy when the difference between higher pension spending and lower tax revenues can seriously affect public funds.

For example

Linking Words

, Japan , which is one of the developed countries , is experiencing an ageing

population

Use synonyms

. The serious shortage of human resources in some occupations

such

Linking Words

as engineers and workers has forced them to import labor from other countries. The Japanese

government

Use synonyms

must introduce policies to encourage increased birth rates and support immigrants who work and pay taxes for them to ensure economic growth. In conclusion, in my opinion, the drawbacks of the elderly

population

Use synonyms

are undeniable. The

government

Use synonyms

should take timely policies to prevent

this

Linking Words

issue and encourage their residents to raise birth rates.

Submitted by midden-02.tore on Fri Nov 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the main points effectively, but incorporating more specific examples (beyond Japan) might strengthen your argument and provide a more comprehensive explanation.

coherence cohesion

Aim to maintain a consistent flow by linking your ideas with transitional phrases. This could enhance the coherence of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

task achievement

Your essay provides a thorough response to the task, exploring the implications of an ageing population.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your ideas.

task achievement

Good use of specific country example (Japan) to illustrate the consequences of an ageing population.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; others believe only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Some people think that individual action shows no benefit to preserving the environment and that big corporations and governments are the ones responsible for taking care of nature. Personally, I think that both people and large entities should engage in eco-friendly activities in order to generate a positive impact on the ecosystem.
4
band
some people say history is one of the most important schools subjects. Other people think, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
History is about the civilization and culture in the past. While some elites reckon students should allocate the most of their time to study history, others believe in our modern time majors like engineering have more applications. I believe history is part of our identity and every one should learn history before any thing else.
6.5
band
Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
These days, the amount of violence in media is growing. While some people argue that this trend will undoubtedly lead humans to a dangerous future, others claim that it has no damaging effect on society. I believe that in most cases media violence doesn't affect people's behavior.
6.5
band
A huge number of students choose to study English independently on a self-study basis rather than attend a formal course. However, without the assistance of a teacher, students often find it difficult to manage their studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is thought by some youths that studying independently for the English subject is a normally happen. Otherwise, others think that it will lead to plenty of problems like eliminating some common mistakes in words without the tutors. In this essay, I will explain clearly which I stand to agree or disagree.
6
band
Some people believe that the most important aim of science is it improves people' lives. What extend do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, technological advancement has a direct influence on our lives, some believe that, scientific breakthroughs must raise people’s life quality. I agree with this statement to some extent, but we should consider that we are not alone on this planet.

In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

some people say history is one of the most important schools subjects. Other people think, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

A huge number of students choose to study English independently on a self-study basis rather than attend a formal course. However, without the assistance of a teacher, students often find it difficult to manage their studies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the most important aim of science is it improves people' lives. What extend do you agree or disagree?