In some parts of the Us, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? Give reason for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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The freedom of going out is banned for adolescents without the presence of an adult in some regions of the United States. For me, supporting
this
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implementation is impossible on the
ground
Fix the agreement mistake
grounds
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that restrictions make
such
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things more charming and may lead to mental issues. Teenage is the most sensitive and rebellious period of humans. During
this
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age, youngsters desire to experience pretty much everything regardless it is positive or negative.
For
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this
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reason, parents and authorities should be careful as to their approach to them. Any wrong step taken may cause serious consequences, especially prohibitions. Owing to their challenging nature, restricting acts
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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unfavourable things the
center
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centre
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of charm,
such
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as alcohol use. Just because
of
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apply
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it is prohibited for young people, many of them obtain alcoholic beverages to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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rebel.
Moreover
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, teenagers
also
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tend to compare themselves with their peers. As they can easily observe people, who are
same
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the same
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age
with
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as
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them, on social media or TV, curfew can be depressing for them. Take a restricted high school boy as an example. If he sees his peers partying till late in the same domain, he may probably feel jealous and upset. Over time, these negative emotions may evolve
to
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into
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mental issues like depression. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the scheme of limiting
youngs
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young
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to
go
Wrong verb form
going
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out late. Because, banning adolescents
to do
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from doing
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activities not only makes these activities more appealing
,
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apply
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but
also
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causes mental disorders.
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and addresses the task by discussing reasons why the curfew might be problematic. However, it would benefit from a bit more specific examples to strengthen arguments and make them more vivid.
coherence cohesion
The ideas in the essay are generally well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Nonetheless, some of the sentence structures need refinement to enhance clarity and coherence. For instance, instead of "Owing to their challenging nature, restricting acts makes unfavourable things the center of charm," you could say, "Due to their challenging nature, restrictions make unfavorable activities more appealing."
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the writer's opinion, which is carried consistently throughout the essay.
logical structure
The essay offers logical reasoning and connects ideas effectively, particularly in linking curfews to potential mental health issues.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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