IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that government should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that artists should be helped by alternative sources such as people, NGOs and Universitirs. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over whether the government should provide financial help to
artists
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 or if
such
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 support should come from
NGOs
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, universities, and others.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.
To begin
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, the first and foremost reason why people think higher authorities should invest in nurturing the talents of
artists
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, as it is their responsibility to preserve culture. To elaborate, leaders have authority and sources that can help
artists
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 show their talent in front of society. By funding them, higher authorities will not only help preserve traditional art forms but
also
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 encourage new people to participate in creative activities and promote their heritage and culture.
For instance
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, in India, every year, funds are allocated for a cultural event in Amritsar, which leads to enhancing individual interest in traditional rituals and beliefs.
As a result
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, in 2025, more than 40% of the masses will participate compared to the year 2017.
On the other hand
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,
according to
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 the former view, the academy and
NGOs
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 are accountable for sponsoring the
artists
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 for several reasons,
such
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 as time and duties; to explain,
although
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 universities and NGEos have a lot of work to do, certainly they have fewer duties than leaders.
Additionally
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, there are a few areas under them, so they can more closely focus on promoting and safeguarding cultural heritage. To explain, in India, Rajasthan is a place
that is
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 run by financial support from
NGOs
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 and academic institutions, it is known for its traditional and maintained cultural identity;
moreover
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,
due to
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this
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,
this
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 place is a tourist spot and plays a vital role in presenting the Traditional Indian practices in front of tourists.
To conclude
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, there is no denying that both the government and alternative sources,
such
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 as
NGOs
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 and educational institutions, play an integral role in supporting creative
artists
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.
However
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, I believe that government funding is essential to ensure wide-reaching cultural preservation and equal opportunities for actors,
while
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NGOs
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 and educational institutions complement
this
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 support by focusing on specific communities and projects.

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task achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas more clearly. Sometimes, your points need more explanation or examples.
coherence
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas better. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. It helps the reader understand your main points better.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader.
examples
You provided relevant examples to support some of your points, which is a good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • support
  • finance
  • creative
  • artists
  • painters
  • musicians
  • government
  • alternative
  • sources
  • donations
  • struggle
  • living
  • survival
  • culture
  • community
  • involvement
  • funding
  • freedom
  • pressure
  • collaboration
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