A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponser a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts IT has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company In your letter ●describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team ●summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts ●say how you think the company should spend the money
#company #area #amount #money #sponser #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #●describe #●summarise #●say
Dear Sir or Madam
I am writing to you about feedback that you asked from the general public.
Firstly
, I would say about benefits
of sponsoring the Correct article usage
the benefits
sports
team. When we conducted a school survey with local residents, we found out that many children are interested in sports
. However
, major
problem is not enough money for modern Add an article
the major
a major
sports
equipment. If you sponsor, children will play sports
in their worth
Correct word choice
free
time
and they will brush up their selves
. Correct your spelling
themselves
This
process can affects
2 things including, being a healthy and Change the verb form
affect
develop
country.
If you ask me, Wrong verb form
developed
second
point Change the article
the second
as
a sponsoring two open-air concerts is a good idea Correct your spelling
is
for
attract Change preposition
to
people
. Nowadays, our people
dedicate a lot of time
at
work and of course, they cannot spend Change preposition
to
time
with their families. If you sponsoring to it, you will make people
have a good time
with well-known actors and actresses.
I would be gratefull
if you Correct your spelling
grateful
sponsoring
Wrong verb form
sponsored
children's
Correct article usage
the children's
sports
team.
Because, in future
they will achieve their all goals and success. Add a comma
future,
This
will make your company famous and involve partners that have good qualifications. If sports
develops
in the country, Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
people
's health level will increase and it will affect productivity.
Yours faithfullySubmitted by omondavlat91 on
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task achievement
You have addressed all points in the task prompt adequately. To improve, add more specific details and examples to provide a stronger rationale for why sponsoring the children's sports team is a better option.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your logical structure clearer by using more transitions and linking words. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that there is a clear topic sentence. This will enhance clarity and coherence.
general
Review your grammar and vocabulary. There are some errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved for better clarity and readability.
task achievement
The tone of your writing is respectful and suitable for a formal letter. This is a strong point in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a greeting and a closing, which adds to the coherence of your letter.