Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

Many people believe that working hard and trying our best can bring success. Others think that beauty and financials are more important. Personally, I prefer the first one

Firstly

, working hard is one of the most effective means for the majority of ordinaries to gain their own achievement. Almost all companies need an employee who has discipline during full-time work and can bring profit to the company. The more effort the workers spent the higher the chance to produce more. Ts can be seen as the most brilliant who started with

poor

Correct article usage

a poor

show examples

background and became rich because of their effort.

On the other hand

, some people use their visuals and their relationships to become famous and successful. Actually, some jobs need the appearance to be successful and famous. When some celebs want to get more fans, they must have

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

beautiful faces and great characteristics. In conclusion, we can be successful in many ways.

Nevertheless

, the achievements come from discipline can be maintained for a long time and others cannot do that

Wed Mar 20 2024

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Task Achievement

Firstly, ensure your essay directly and fully addresses the topic by discussing both views and clearly stating your own opinion. Your introduction should set this scene more explicitly.

Task Achievement

Try to use a wider range of structures and vocabulary to make your points. This will help in clearly expressing complex ideas and providing specific examples to support your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your paragraphs more coherently. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanation, example, and a concluding statement that links back to the essay question.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on the introduction and conclusion. Make sure your introduction outlines the main points you will discuss, and your conclusion summarizes your arguments and restates your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

172 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many country, women are allowed to take maternity leave during the first month after birth of the newborn. Do you think that the advantages of the maternity leave outweigh its disadvantages?

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

It is important for people to take risks , both in their personal lives and professional lives. do you think that advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. what are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.