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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is better for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #students #study #group
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Nowadays, knowledge is the most important thing for every person who wants to have good conditions of working or a high salary. Few
people
 argue that
students
 should study with
friends
 in a
group
,
whereas
, others consider letting them study by themselves.
This
 essay will mention both views and I strongly prefer to learn with peers in a
group
. On the one hand, every student must have close
friends
 at school or maybe a large
group
 for conversation or entertainment.
Moreover
, studying in a
group
 should be more effective in several ways
such
 as improving social interaction, and knowledge.
For example
, I have a
group
 of 7
people
 that has one person named Hope whom I must call a native speaker, when I have a problem with an English assignment I will ask Hope for help.
In addition
, studying with peers must gain more experience and it can change
people
's emotions in a day by telling a funny story with
friends
.
On the other hand
, studying alone should have more concentration and gain more knowledge.
Therefore
,
students
 must get a better degree in every subject they learn,
hence
,
students
 must have more stress levels.
For instance
, one of my
friends
 was an introverted person, every week that we had a test he had to study alone and interact with other
people
.
Furthermore
, studying alone can have the best results in studies but
students
 can have much more pressure on learning at the same time.
To conclude
, studies with peers can discuss the learning that leads to a positive effect on the student,
while
 studying on their own must be stressful because they could help themself to improve their skills.
Submitted by napatnp18065322 on

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task achievement
Your essay responds to the task reasonably well, but more could be done to develop your ideas further. Consider providing more detailed explanations and examples for each point you make.
coherence cohesion
While you have divided your essay into clear paragraphs and included an introduction and conclusion, the logical flow of your ideas could be improved. Some ideas seem a bit disjointed. Try to ensure that each paragraph links more smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Some of your main points could use stronger support and more specific examples. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively and provide a clearer understanding for the reader.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your essay well.
task achievement
The essay shows a good attempt to address both views and to give your own opinion.
task achievement
You have used some relevant examples from your own experience to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaborative learning
  • peer feedback
  • social interaction
  • deep understanding
  • group dynamics
  • personalized learning
  • self-discipline
  • concentration
  • diverse perspectives
  • isolation
  • motivation
  • peer support
  • groupthink
  • distractions
  • commitment
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