IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cars #transport #city #centres #bicycles
Some
people
 argue that automobiles and public transportation should be prohibited from
city
centres
 and solely bikes should be accepted as a better substitute. I totally agree with
this
 statement because of two main reasons that will be discussed as
follow
Correct subject-verb agreement
follows
show examples
.
To begin
 with,
cars
 and other motor vehicles
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
contribute to air pollution and congestion in
city
centres
.
In other words
, carbon emissions from those vehicles render the
city
's atmosphere polluted.
Additionally
, travelling by
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 in the
city
centres
 is the main reason that causes traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 during rush hour.
For example
, during the COVID pandemic,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
 were asked to stay at home more and
adviced
Correct your spelling
advised
 to limit their usage of
cars
 or public transport helped to improve the air quality of
city
centres
 a lot. Another reason for banning
cars
 and using bicycles
instead
 is
about leading
Change preposition
to lead
show examples
 to a healthier population.
This
 is because riding a bike is a good form of exercise that no one finds
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
difficult to do. Just having a short ride after work or using a bike for short distances
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to maintain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good health.
For instance
, in Vietnam, there are many bike stations located around that
city
's citizens can easily access for free.
As a result
,
people
 are encouraged to use bikes for travelling around the
city
centres
. In conclusion, bicycles should be the substitute for
city's
Correct article usage
the city's
show examples
 citizens because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 good impact on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and
people
's health.
Submitted by kelsey.aston.aie on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. Mentioning specific data or studies can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Ensure all your ideas are fully expanded. For example, explain a bit more how the population would benefit health-wise from using bicycles, such as reducing healthcare costs or increasing life expectancy.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured and the essay flows well, but ensure to use a variety of linking words and avoid repetitiveness to further improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear logical structure, beginning with an introduction and ending with a cohesive conclusion.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing the main points of the argument presented.
task achievement
The essay includes clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the question.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • air pollution
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • traffic
  • improve
  • viable
  • population
  • investment
  • infrastructure
  • policy
What to do next:
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