Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
The high cost of modern pharmaceuticals means
people
in poorer countries
are unable to benefit from them. I would argue that drug companies
have a moral obligation to make their products available to these people
and that there are other agencies that can help.
Over the last
few decades
there has been a dramatic improvement in medicine that has radically changed the treatment of many Add a comma
decades,
life threatening
diseases. Add a hyphen
life-threatening
While
drug companies
profit from treating these diseases, the fact that people
in poor countries
are unable to pay for these treatments has created an unacceptable degree of inequality in global access to health care.
I would argue that drug companies
have a responsibility to be more ethical and to address this
inequality by offering cheaper generic versions of their medicines in countries
that cannot afford to pay the full price. This
has recently been implemented with the treatment of HIV and AIDS in some African countries
, saving the lives of millions of people
.
However
, I also
believe that there are others who have a role to play in giving poor people
access to drugs. For example
, rich people
could be encouraged to donate to charities to help developing countries
. An example of this
was seen recently when Bill Gates spent vast sums of money to set up immunisation projects in Africa. In addition
to wealthy individuals, governments could also
donate aid and medical supplies.
In conclusion
I would argue that it is immoral for Add a comma
conclusion,
people
to be dying as a result
of inequality. The value of human life should be universal and it should be the responsibility of the richer companies
, individuals and governments to ensure that access to
encompasses everyone.Change preposition
apply
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task achievement
To further strengthen the argument, you might consider adding a counterargument and then refuting it. This would show a comprehensive understanding of the topic from multiple angles.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is logically structured, aiming for more seamless transitions between paragraphs will further enhance coherence.
task achievement
Examples are well-integrated, but you could diversify the examples by including cases from multiple regions or different time periods.
coherence cohesion
Consider using varied sentence structures to keep the reader engaged and demonstrate a high level of language proficiency.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and concise, effectively setting the stage for your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your points and reiterates your main argument, providing a strong closing to the essay.
task achievement
You’ve provided relevant and specific examples, such as the HIV/AIDS treatments and Bill Gates' contributions, which substantiate your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay makes it easy to follow, and each paragraph transitions well to the next.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.