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Band 6.5

Now a days more and more people are migrating to developed countries for higher education and better employment opportunities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of migration?

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These days, many people are shifting to sophisticated countries looking for better opportunities in terms of education and employment.
Such
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 movement has both merits and demerits
due to
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 the exposure to unfamiliar places which helps to broaden the horizon of masses.
This
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 essay will discuss both the positives and the negatives that are associated with migration to international territories. On the one hand,
this
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 type of migration has significant advantages.
Firstly
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, some students want to study at prestigious universities located in foreign nations because
such
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 educational institutions employ better teachers who are experts in their field.
Therefore
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, knowledge gained in
such
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 learning centres helps them to be more employable in any country in the world.
Secondly
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, some people might not find the right opportunity for employment
according to
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 their skill level in their home country which influences them to move to developed territories seeking better offers in various industries
such
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 as Information technology which promises higher salary and a standard of living.
For instance
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, recently, a friend of mine migrated to Canada because he was unable to locate a decent
job
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 opportunity locally. Now, he is being employed at one of the well-known IT companies and earning a higher salary which gives him a sense of fulfilment.
On the other hand
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,
such
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 movement
also
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 has potential drawbacks for individuals.
For example
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, if we take students who are studying abroad, it might be difficult for them to cope with the new educational structure which is different from their homeschooling.
As a result
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, they might get stressed and lose their interest in studies. when it comes to
job
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 opportunities, the
job
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 market is highly competitive in international countries which makes finding a
job
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 really challenging.
consequently
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 , they have to be jobless for an indefinite period of time or work in a low-skilled environment which might impact their mental stability. In conclusion, migrating to developed economies has both
the
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apply
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benefits and
the
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apply
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drawbacks in terms of learning or employment perspectives.
However
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, it depends on their personal preferences to embrace the positives compared to the negatives.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that paragraphs are well-organized with clear main ideas at the beginning, followed by supporting details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases for more fluidity and clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include an explicit thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the structure of the essay.
Task Achievement
Address the task fully by exploring both advantages and disadvantages evenly, ensuring that each point is expanded on sufficiently.
Task Achievement
Clarify and develop your main ideas with more specific and varied examples for stronger task achievement.
Task Achievement
Avoid general statements and strive for more in-depth exploration of each point to demonstrate a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Developed countries
  • Higher education
  • Employment opportunities
  • Brain drain
  • Professional growth
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Intercultural understanding
  • Economic burden
  • Work exploitation
  • Competitive job market
  • Renowned companies
  • Personal growth
  • Skilled individuals
  • Developmental stagnation
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