Some people say that large companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
In the context of public.
coporative
social responsibility , the proposal of providing sports Correct your spelling
corporate
corporative
facilities
and local communities has garnered attention. I totally agree with this
, companies and public
Correct article usage
the public
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
both
several benefits Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
doing Change preposition
from
this
practice such
as well-being and better image in public
Correct article usage
the public
Primarly
, investing money in sports Correct your spelling
Primarily
facilities
makes the society helathier
. Providing sports centers, social Correct your spelling
healthier
hub
and Fix the agreement mistake
hubs
well equipped
Add a hyphen
well-equipped
gym
would make lifestyles healthier and Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
reduces
the costs of medical expenses. Correct subject-verb agreement
reduce
For instance
, having a
access Remove the article
apply
of
public Change preposition
to
gym
and recreational Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
centers
, Change the spelling
centres
it
motivates Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
individuals to get benefit from these. These days having a private Change preposition
apply
gym
membership is not affordable for many people.Moreover
, social hubs can serves
as venues of social Change the verb form
serve
Correct your spelling
interaction
interactions
intreaction
which Correct your spelling
interaction
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
as
an Change preposition
in
enchancing
sense of community and belonging Correct your spelling
enhancing
enchanting
of
diverse Change preposition
to
group
of people
In Fix the agreement mistake
groups
additon
, today is the era of marketing , it Correct your spelling
addition
also
demands alot
of costs Correct your spelling
a lot
for
Change preposition
to
getting
famous amongVerb problem
become
Correct article usage
the
By providing
Change preposition
Providing
gym
facilities
with the tags of company
, not only gives Correct article usage
the company
sense
of ownership Add an article
a sense
also
Correct word choice
but also
spread
the good reputation of Wrong verb form
spreads
company
among people, Add an article
the company
thus
it also
bring
loyalty Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
for
Change preposition
to
company
.Moving Add an article
the company
further
, instead
of spending on other marketing techniques one should invest in the
public Correct article usage
apply
facilities
which is
not only cheaper , it Change the verb form
are
also
gives
the brand loyal customers.
In conclusion, companies should Correct subject-verb agreement
give
spent
money Change the verb form
spend
for
well Change preposition
on
being
of society as it is beneficial for both , it gives Correct your spelling
well-being
cheaper
form of marketing andAdd an article
the cheaper
a cheaper
increase
the value of Change the verb form
increases
brand
name . For Correct article usage
the brand
public
, these Add an article
a public
the public
facilities
icrease
the standard of their lifestyles and bring cohesion Correct your spelling
increase
society
.Change preposition
to society
Submitted by amarbatth367 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To score higher on task response, ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the question with well-developed and clear points. Consider adding more relevant and specific examples to support your ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Improving coherence and cohesion would involve refining the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and transition smoothly from one to the next. Using linking words and phrases appropriately can aid this process.
language
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. While small inaccuracies are acceptable, clarity in expression and precision in language use can significantly enhance your score.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is essential for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You've made a good effort to present main points and develop them. This is important for task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!