Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that
extinct
of some special animals and plants is the most important problem of Correct word choice
the extinction
environment
Add an article
the environment
while
some people don't agree with this
view. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
Correct article usage
the extinct
extinct
of Replace the word
extinction
species
is really important to our world, I believe that there are more serious environmental problems around us.
On the one hand, vanishing
of Correct article usage
the vanishing
species
can be
Verb problem
have
significant
impact Add an article
a significant
to
our lives. Change preposition
on
Firstly
, food
chain changes and it Correct article usage
the food
results
some Add the preposition
results in
results from
species
growth
more than they shouldReplace the word
growing
be
. Some unpredictable population Unnecessary verb
apply
of
growth can be Change preposition
apply
reverse
Replace the word
reversed
Correct word choice
or balance
balance
and they Replace the word
balanced
led
Wrong verb form
lead
some
Change preposition
to some
species
die
. Wrong verb form
dying
For instance
, some plants provide living space for other creatures by retaining water
with their roots.Hence
, it prevents drought and provides
our environment Verb problem
keeps
keep
in balance. But if they do not keep the Verb problem
apply
water
or reduce carbon emission
, our world can be warming day by day and other Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
species
can face to vanish
because of global warming and lack of Change the verb form
vanishing
water
sources.
On the other hand
, it is perhaps even more important to be aware other
environmental issues. Change preposition
of other
For example
, our carbon food print increases
compared Replace the word
increased
the
past decade and it Change preposition
to the
provides
climate change. Sometimes, we face Verb problem
has caused
to
acid Change preposition
apply
rains
and Fix the agreement mistake
rain
actually
our food quality is too bad for human health. Add a comma
actually,
In addition
, young
generation Correct article usage
the young
have
no chance to breathe fresh air Change the verb form
has
due to
air pollution. In Turkey, we do not use public water
resource
because of contamination of Fix the agreement mistake
resources
water
. Human health is in danger because of environment
.
Correct article usage
the environment
To sum up
, I can understand the importance of extinct some plants and animals, but it seems to me there are more serious environmental issues to may affect directly to
human life.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by berivan_yilmazz on
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task achievement
Your task response is generally good as you have addressed both views and provided your own opinion. However, try to provide specific examples to support your arguments more clearly.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is logically structured and both an introduction and a conclusion are present. However, some points can be made clearer with better transitions between ideas.
general
Work on sentence structures and grammar to ensure your ideas are communicated more effectively. This will help both task response and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both views and given your own opinion, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant and your ideas are clear overall.