Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often believed that the development of artificial
intelligence
will affect people
positively in the coming age. I partially agree with this
, for it promotes the academic performance of learners in an educational setting regardless of the potential disadvantage of rising unemployment.
On the one hand, the improvement of artificial intelligence
is beneficial to those who aspire to develop individual skills and knowledge because of its personalized assistance. In other words
, learners are more likely to boost their performance as the sophisticated programs provide analytical evaluation, from which they can understand themselves more strategically. For instance
, an educational application called Writing 9 is a quite reliable source to develop writing skills, which analyzes a number of information instantly from the accuracy of grammar to the depth of logical transition. Consequently
, my writing performance has improved dramatically thanks to the immediate feedback, allowing me to practice multiple times.
On the other hand
, the prevalence of artificial intelligence
has a negative influence on employment as more workers are replaced by computers. Indeed, a number of people
are fired as companies can save more money by introducing advanced technology, which can not only store data automatically but also
provide individual support. Furthermore
, some artificial intelligence
is even able to talk with customers in a real-life conversation, increasing their sense of satisfaction. This
makes many people
out of work, which creates more poverty and crimes.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that people
gain an advantage from the progress of artificial intelligence
from an educational perspective thanks to its personalized support. However
, it can lead to a rise in unemployment as more employees are replaced by computers.Submitted by mizuho on
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task achievement
Your introduction effectively states your position on the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss. However, it could be strengthened by specifying how you 'partially agree' in a little more detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear logical structure, which helps the reader follow your argument. Just ensure that each paragraph is focused on a single main point for even better clarity.
task achievement
Good use of examples and explanations to support your points. To enhance this, you might consider including more detailed examples or case studies in both the educational and employment contexts.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing smooth transitions between your paragraphs and ideas for even greater coherence. Using more transitional words and phrases could help with this.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to back up your points, making your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with detailed explanations, making your ideas clear and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, contributing to a strong overall structure.