The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.

The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.
this
pie
charts
Change the determiner
chart
show examples
depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
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leisure time and what is the activities until 10
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
in USA from the 1999 to 2009. It is clear from the graph that
had
Verb problem
there was
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a lot of
channged
Correct your spelling
change
and
develpoment
Correct your spelling
development
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
swimming sport had in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
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.
According to
what is shown Top
iteam
Correct your spelling
item
team
from the per cent it is soccer
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
due to
several reasons.
Firstly
, in the past at 1999 was
sccoer
Correct word choice
apply
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the most
element
Correct word choice
important element
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before because it
is help
Change the verb form
helps
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to
Change preposition
apply
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our health and better choice for muscles.
secondly
Add a comma
secondly,
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it is
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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for our bodies and people
overall
love it.
While
the walking had
in
Change preposition
apply
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a
Change the article
an
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
because they before did not have a car. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, the walk makes
bloode
Correct your spelling
blood
active.
To sum up
, we could say that we most benefit
with
Change preposition
from
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our leisure time we should
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not lose it
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
silly things
Also
, I think it is important.
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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