The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.

The following pie charts show the results of a survey into the most popular leisure activities in the United States of America in 1999 and 2009.
this
pie
charts
Change the determiner
chart
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depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
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leisure time and what is the activities until 10
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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in USA from the 1999 to 2009. It is clear from the graph that
had
Verb problem
there was
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a lot of
channged
Correct your spelling
change
and
develpoment
Correct your spelling
development
with
Change preposition
in
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activites
Correct your spelling
activities
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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swimming sport had in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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increase
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increased
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.
According to
what is shown Top
iteam
Correct your spelling
item
team
from the per cent it is soccer
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
due to
several reasons.
Firstly
, in the past at 1999 was
sccoer
Correct word choice
apply
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the most
element
Correct word choice
important element
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before because it
is help
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helps
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to
Change preposition
apply
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our health and better choice for muscles.
secondly
Add a comma
secondly,
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it is
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
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for our bodies and people
overall
love it.
While
the walking had
in
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apply
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a
Change the article
an
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increase
Replace the word
increased
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because they before did not have a car. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
, the walk makes
bloode
Correct your spelling
blood
active.
To sum up
, we could say that we most benefit
with
Change preposition
from
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our leisure time we should
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not lose it
with
Change preposition
to
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silly things
Also
, I think it is important.
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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