Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

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It is obvious that more and more universities are putting their courses online and encouraging
students
to take
classes
using the internet. We can observe the substantial benefits of
this
approach. First of all,
computer
education
benefits more people. Not only do
students
from specific universities have the opportunity to take professional
classes
online, but individuals who are interested in
this
subject can
also
acquire knowledge.
Secondly
,
computer
education
is definitely more convenient than traditional
classes
. There is no restriction in
computer
education
;
students
can take
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
anytime, anywhere, when they are available. Ultimately,
computer
education
offers a financial advantage. Attending a university incurs significant study fees.
However
, online
classes
are cheaper, so most individuals can afford
this
expenditure. Despite the previously mentioned advantages,
computer
education
does have some drawbacks. Improperly using a
computer
causes some issues, especially for teenagers. Some
students
may abuse the internet and become fascinated by it.
Instead
of studying, they spend more time playing
computer
games.
Moreover
, people cannot distinguish the accuracy of online information; some fake and false information may be created by criminals who cheat individuals or collect their private information for money. In conclusion, it is noticeable that
computer
education
provides convenient and effective
education
opportunities that benefit entire societies. Despite some drawbacks that exist in
computer
education
, I assert that the advantages of using
computer
education
far outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by duzirong on

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task achievement
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction to present your main argument and provide a roadmap for your essay.
task achievement
Expand on the drawbacks of computer education with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied and appropriate transitions between paragraphs and within complex sentences to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea consistently, providing more depth and clear topic sentences for better coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The arguments for both sides of the topic are presented, showing a balanced view.
task achievement
The language used is clear and easy to understand, with appropriate vocabulary for the academic context.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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