Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

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It is obvious that more and more universities are putting their courses online and encouraging
students
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to take
classes
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using the internet. We can observe the substantial benefits of
this
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approach. First of all,
computer
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education
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benefits more people. Not only do
students
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from specific universities have the opportunity to take professional
classes
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online, but individuals who are interested in
this
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subject can
also
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acquire knowledge.
Secondly
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,
computer
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education
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is definitely more convenient than traditional
classes
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. There is no restriction in
computer
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education
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;
students
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can take
class
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classes
show examples
anytime, anywhere, when they are available. Ultimately,
computer
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education
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offers a financial advantage. Attending a university incurs significant study fees.
However
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, online
classes
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are cheaper, so most individuals can afford
this
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expenditure. Despite the previously mentioned advantages,
computer
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education
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does have some drawbacks. Improperly using a
computer
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causes some issues, especially for teenagers. Some
students
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may abuse the internet and become fascinated by it.
Instead
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of studying, they spend more time playing
computer
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games.
Moreover
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, people cannot distinguish the accuracy of online information; some fake and false information may be created by criminals who cheat individuals or collect their private information for money. In conclusion, it is noticeable that
computer
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education
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provides convenient and effective
education
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opportunities that benefit entire societies. Despite some drawbacks that exist in
computer
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education
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, I assert that the advantages of using
computer
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education
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far outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by duzirong on

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task achievement
Include a clear thesis statement in the introduction to present your main argument and provide a roadmap for your essay.
task achievement
Expand on the drawbacks of computer education with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied and appropriate transitions between paragraphs and within complex sentences to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea consistently, providing more depth and clear topic sentences for better coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The arguments for both sides of the topic are presented, showing a balanced view.
task achievement
The language used is clear and easy to understand, with appropriate vocabulary for the academic context.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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