IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as poor people become poorer and rich people become richer. What problems could this situations casue??what are the solutions to address those problems??

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It has become a recent trend that there is a greater disparity between the poor and the rich.
This
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 will cause a number of problems including a rising criminal rate
as well as
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 the limited way of
life
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 for poor children. These issues should be tackled by the growing financial support from the
government
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, which
also
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 needs to ensure equal opportunities for learning to expand their career paths. One of the serious consequences caused by the increasing financial gap would be a higher rate of crimes which are committed by the poor as they are often forced to live a hostile
life
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.
In other words
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, the shortage of money encourages more wrongdoings for their survival, no matter how many sacrifices they have to make.
Thus
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, the
government
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 fund for the poor would be necessary to reduce their financial concern by securing the fundamental right to live.
This
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 not only allows them to gain food and pay for accommodation but
also
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 concentrate on other activities
such
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 as study and work. Another negative outcome of the widening gap would be a poor
life
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 cycle, from which younger people cannot be free, making them feel hopeless about seeking their own dreams.
For instance
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, those who live in developing nations
such
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 as Egypt and India often do not have any choice but to work under severe conditions from a younger age.
Therefore
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, the
government
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 should provide an equal opportunity for learning to every child so they can acquire essential skills and knowledge.
Furthermore
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,
such
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 education increases their chances to expand their career paths, reducing the financial difference between poor and wealthy people. In conclusion, problems of increasing crimes committed by the poor and their limited choices in
life
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 will arise if the gap continues to rise in the future. In order to prevent these issues, the
government
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 is required to secure their basic
life
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 by providing financial assistance and educational opportunities.

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relevant specific examples
Ensure to include more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling and grounded in real-world scenarios.
logical structure
Your response is highly cohesive with strong transitions between ideas. Ensure this level of coherence is maintained throughout to provide a smooth reading experience.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively outline and summarize the main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have provided a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas that are well-developed throughout the essay.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and elaborated, demonstrating a strong understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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