IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the idea of having a career with one company is an old-fashioned one. To what extent do you think having several different jobs or careers is better than a career with one company?

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Nowadays, there are some people who believed that only
one
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 work
place
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 during all the professional
life
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 isn't suitable to the modern
life
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. From my point of view, the
life
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 is too short to spend it in
one
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place
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: in
one
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 company, in
one
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 city, in
one
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 country.
Firstly
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, I convinced that all the
changes
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 in our lives are the best source of a power and desire to move forvard. We are doing many steps
due to
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 the
life
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, sometime without realizing it.
For instance
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: from kindergarten to school, from school to university, or from our home to campus. We can understand - all of it accustoms us to a
changes
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, and makes our mind more flexible.
Moreover
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, if during the first 2 decades of our
life
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 we are studying to be flexible, why we have to stop with the starting of our professional
life
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? So, in the first
place
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 is the point of flexibility
due to
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 the
changes
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. As about my own
life
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, I'm 47 years old now, and I have changed my country twice, cities maybe 4 times, and my careere twice.
Secondly
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, if you have staying in
one
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place
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 during the long time, we became too loyal to company, we ae working for. We can't see the problems and issues clearly anymore. Be the eldest employee not means to be the best. Our managers became younger than we are. Generally, the big companies prefer the employee who have a skills to get
changes
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 and to adopt themself to a new conditions.
For example
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: to switch to the other team, to start the new project, to open a new department. In conclusion, I have to say that in my humble opinion, nowadays we have a planty of opportunities to change our lives at least couple of times, so we have to catch it,
otherwise
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, your
life
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 became very sad and not interesting.

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General
The essay has successfully addressed the task prompt, arguing for the benefits of experiencing different jobs and careers instead of sticking with one company. Continue to develop this perspective with clear reasoning and examples to strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay introduces a clear perspective and maintains a logical structure, some sentences are awkward or contain minor grammar errors. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy and refining sentence flow can enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Supporting points, such as flexibility and adaptability, are well-chosen, but providing more specific examples or evidence could enrich the argument. Use real-life scenarios, statistics, or expert opinions to substantiate your claims.
Introduction
The introduction effectively outlines the writer's viewpoint, setting the stage for the discussion.
Conclusion
The conclusion reinforces the main argument without merely repeating prior points, leaving a strong final impression.
Supporting Points
The use of personal examples (e.g., changes in career, cities, and countries) adds a relatable touch to the essay.
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