The internet has transformed how we interact and live in many great ways, but has also created problems that didn’t exist before. What are the more serious problems caused by the internet and what solutions could you suggest?

The emergence of the
internet
has changed our lives in many ways but has
also
caused issues that didn't exist before.
Due to
the prevalence of the
internet
, several
problems
such
as
health
deterioration and
children
being exposed to harmful
content
have occurred.
However
, these issues can be solved through some solutions.
To begin
with, as the
internet
gained popularity, various
problems
have emerged.
Firstly
, people's
overall
health
condition has decreased. To illustrate, a lot of people are addicted to various kinds of social media and
thus
, it leads to increased screen time.
As a result
, the majority of them struggled with decreased eyesight and focus.
Second,
the usage of the
internet
is highly negative to
children
as they are exposed to violent and sexual
content
without any regulations.
For example
, they can face a myriad of videos, images, and writings via the
Internet
, and not all
content
is informative or educational. Some can be totally harmful to juveniles.
Nevertheless
, these
problems
can be alleviated through several measures.
First,
individuals who use the
internet
should do a regular workout. By doing the exercise, they can prevent
health
deterioration.
Moreover
, the government should impose caps on violent
content
.
In addition
, they should censor the contents and only allow constructive information to
children
.
To conclude
, indeed, the
internet
has transformed how we interact and live.
Although
this
trend has some
problems
like decreased
health
conditions and excessive exposure to harmful
content
, there are
also
several ways to tackle the issues.
First,
individuals need to constantly exercise to stay healthy.
Second,
the government should regulate the usage of the
Internet
by
children
.
Submitted by aahhyu111 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Be careful with repetitive structures and try varying your sentence constructions to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the provided solutions by including more detailed examples or exploring how these solutions could be implemented effectively.
general
Pay attention to slight grammatical errors and work on improving your grammatical range for a more polished essay.
task achievement
You successfully identified problems and provided corresponding solutions, maintaining a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in understanding.
task achievement
Your use of examples to support your points helps in making your argument more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cyberbullying
  • anonymity
  • data breaches
  • privacy
  • internet addiction
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence
  • job displacement
  • security threats
  • scams
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • social isolation
  • extremism
  • radicalization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: