IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two maps depict the comparison of the Grange Park layouts when it opened in 1920 and at the present time.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the stage for musicians alongside the fountain was removed dramatically,
while
Linking Words
 some new buildings and facilities were introduced at today's park. In 1920, the Grange Park was established in an area with lots of facilities. There were two entrances which were located on Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street. On the side of Arnold Avenue, the two rose gardens were built symmetrically. There was a pond for water plants on the top right of the old map. Some seats were constructed all around the plan.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the greenhouse was located on the right of the entrance.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the fountain was placed at the centre of the design;
however
Linking Words
, the stage for musicians was erected on the left side of that place. Today, the children's play area was relocated to the pond for water plants.
In addition
Linking Words
, the greenhouse was removed from the right of the map,
as well as
Linking Words
 the water feature was modernized with some facilities.
Also
Linking Words
, a rose garden was erected on the new design alongside the seats around it.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a new café was built near the children's play area. A new Amphitheater for concerts was introduced to the left of the map.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding a brief overview in the introduction to give readers a clearer idea of the main changes between the two time periods.
coherence coherence
Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your writing and connect your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to accurately align and compare the features of the park between the two time periods to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, main body, and logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
You've effectively noted the significant changes in the park over time, showcasing your ability to compare and contrast the two maps.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
What to do next:
Look at other essays: