In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, upon getting an acceptance letter from a
university
students
face two accommodation choices, whether they choose to stay with family or move to a dorm or shared house. Both options come with advantages
as well as
disadvantages. In
this
different aspects of
this
issue will be discussed. Attending a
university
is a very important stage of adulthood. For the first time, individuals experience a sense of being mature.
Not to mention
the academic environment
as well as
society of the
university
is totally in the opposite direction of what
students
know from school days. In order to get
along with
people one must learn the way of
this
community and
this
can be done by living in a dorm. Through enrolling in
university
housing
students
get a chance to know each other better and learn to live peacefully with each other despite their differences.
For instance
, Bristol
University
offers both international and domain first-year
students
a place in housing accommodation.
This
helps freshmen to cope better with
this
new reality and make friends.
Not to mention
, it does significantly reduce stress and loneliness. the more time
students
spend with one another, the better they understand each other.
On the other hand
, some freshmen decide to stay with their parents
while
attending
university
.
As a consequence
, they feel more relaxed and there is no need to worry about keeping the house tidy or making food because parents do all of these things for you.
However
,
although
it does make the condition of living more stress-free it does create some negative features for
students
such
as a lack of independence which is a vital setting for growing up and becoming an adult.
for example
, when
students
share a home with family they must obey their rules until they live under their roof. the daily timetable, who they see and every aspect of personal life is controlled by them.
To sum up
, upon getting an offer from a
university
students
face a choice between their own house or a dormitory.
While
staying with family members is good it reflects poorly on the
overall
state of
students
by limiting them.
Submitted by nikitahaghighi99 on

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grammar
Try to avoid minor errors in grammar and punctuation. These do not impede understanding, but errors like 'the condition of living' instead of 'living conditions' can affect the quality of the writing.
examples
Work on expanding your examples and explanations to provide stronger support for your main points. More detailed and specific examples will help to strengthen your arguments significantly.
conclusion
Practice on providing a stronger conclusion that fully encapsulates your arguments and reinforces the essay’s main points.
balanced approach
The essay addresses both sides of the issue, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of both staying at home and moving away for university. This demonstrates a balanced approach.
clear summary
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, making the essay easy to follow.
use of examples
There are good attempts at providing examples, such as the mention of Bristol University, which help illustrate the points being made.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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