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Band 7

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #lives #change
There are competing views on whether to make development in life.
Although
 changes always involve
risk
 , I still think that it is always good to make changes because , in the long run,
people
 will gain more from the changes they make than they lose.
People
 who resist change may be too afraid of the
risk
 involved . Take,
for example
, those who choose to stay in a low-paying job they hate. They may fear that if they resign ,they may be unable to find a new job ,
thus
 losing the stability their old one provides.
However
 ,I do not think maintaining the status quo can help them avoid risks. Sooner or later,they will lose their low-level jobs to automation. In fact , as the billionaire entrepreneur Peter Theil, said "In a world that's changing so quickly, the biggest
risk
 you can take is not taking any
risk
". Others,
on the other hand
 ,argue that change is always a good thing because it is the only way to succeed in the long run.If super-successful
people
 and organisations are examined, it will be found that they all have one thing in common; They keep trying new things . They are willing to experiment and fail a lot in order to innovate.
This
 may have
downside
Add an article
a downside
show examples
 in the short term but allows them to remain relevant and competitive over longer periods of time.I agree with
this
 argument because, as discussed above,if a person is stagnant for the sake of short-term comfort , they will be guaranteed to fail in the
longer
Correct word choice
long
show examples
 run. In conclusion ,
although
 a shift in direction comes with risks , in the long run,
people
 will benefit from the shift they made .
Therefore
 ,I believe change is always a good thing when thinking long-term.
Submitted by sinjatiwari15 on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure you fully address both sides of the argument in greater depth, providing more specific examples and evidence to support each view.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using a greater variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your ideas. Connecting sentences more fluidly can strengthen your overall essay structure.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and well-articulated, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining your position on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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