Some people believe that range of technology currently is increasing gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing opposite . Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals assume that advanced
technology
things like iPhones and the latest computer systems are creating a big barrier between wealthier and poor people
due to
various causes whereas
some oppose this
statement. Besides
this
, new advancement gadgets make human lives easier than past. I totally agree with opponents due to
a few reasons which will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs with appropriate examples in brief explanation.
To begin
with, those people
who believe that technology
is a blessing for both categories. These days education has become easier than in past years because people
who do have not enough money to send their children to high school then
they can get an education at home like rich children. Nowadays teachers from all over the world are delivering education in many languages in simple ways. Also
, technology
is a mode of earning money, like filling out job applications at home and getting a chance to work with overseas companies opens a door for poor people
to become rich people
. These days, many workers are doing jobs in well-known firms for higher wages and they are from different categories.So, technology
is erasing the difference between poor and rich people
.
In healthcare systems, there are lots of machines invented by scientists to cure serious illnesses and injuries. Usually, lower-class people
don't have adequate hospitals in their towns so, they are now eligible to get treatment and medicine from professional doctors with the help of technology
by filling out government forms because they are offering free service to all. Moreover
, in the last
decades, poverty under people
do not have power and water supply but the entrance of new advancements made everything possible for them and made their lives healthier and enjoy enjoyable.
No doubt, rich people
are getting richer because they are investing money in the market which is raising productivity and quality of life. And, they have more power to buy everything in seconds like cars, homes, and businesses. Meanwhile, the poor have to ability to purchase but still they have equal opportunities in all fields.
In conclusion, updated technology
is far better than past which makes everyone's life happier and more comfortable and it also
eliminates the difference between wealthier and poor people
.Submitted by harmandeep51075 on
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task achievement
Try to balance both views more evenly in the discussion. While you have discussed the opposing view thoroughly, the argument that technology increases the gap between the rich and poor needs more depth and examples.
coherence cohesion
Focus more on clearly linking your arguments back to the main question in each paragraph. Use transitional phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely' to help guide the reader through your points more smoothly.
task achievement
You have given relevant and specific examples, such as the ability to access education and healthcare through technology. These help to support your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which help to frame your argument well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.