IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Nowadays people normally stretch their working hours and get stressed than before. What are the reasons for this? What employers can do to make people's life easier?

#people #stretch #hours #employers #life
Recently, the hours that people should spend in workplaces have considerably increased, leading to more
stress
 for workers. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the reasons for
this
 trend and provide some solutions. These days, with the advancement in technology, the speed of life has soared, and workloads have increased, too.
Consequently
, there is more pressure on individuals who
work
 at companies or offices. They are forced to
work
 hard and spend most of their
time
 in workplaces in order to satisfy their bosses and make more profits. Another thing is that some individuals are workaholics. They are addicted to their occupation and are drawn to their tasks;
thus
, they prefer being at the office.
Furthermore
, inflation is the key factor influencing the mental health of employees. The cost of living has drastically increased, so staff have to endeavour more to meet their needs. These situations have led to an increase in
work
time
 and caused more
stress
. I will draw some solutions. Individuals should take life easy, and try to make a better
work
-life balance.
Also
, they should pay more attention to their mental health and brain function. One solution is for the government to curtail the
work
time
.
Accordingly
, employees can have more
time
 to be with their families, leading to feeling relaxed and reducing their
stress
 and anxiety. Another thing that should be tackled by the government is inflation. If the cost of living is reduced, residents will experience a fair life.
To conclude
, it is said that employees live under pressure and
stress
, and
work
 more than ever.
This
 can be because of inflation and the huge workloads that are assigned to them, or because of their choice. I think measures should be taken by governments, people pay more attention to other sides of their lives, as well.
Submitted by fatemeh1994bahrami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

advice
While the essay covers the main reasons behind the increased working hours and stresses the possible solutions, adding more specific and varied examples will improve the essay's relevance and depth.
advice
Ensure that you not only mention the problems but also provide a detailed explanation or example for each. This could enhance both task achievement and coherence.
highlight
The introduction clearly states what the essay will discuss, giving a good overview to the reader.
highlight
The essay maintains a logical order, with clear transitions from the causes of the problem to possible solutions, and ending with a conclusion.
highlight
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and restates its purpose without introducing new ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stretching working hours
  • increased competition
  • economic pressures
  • job insecurity
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
  • mental health support
  • stress management workshops
  • telecommuting
  • blurred boundaries
  • globalized world
  • advent of mobile devices
  • daily stress of commuting
What to do next:
Look at other essays: