In many countries i the world people buy clothes and choose hair styles according to latest fashion. why is this happening? is this a positive or a negative development?

There is no denying the fact that in life humans utilize
clothes
and choose
hairstyles
Fashion
is essential. The benefits of buying
clothes
and choosing
hairstyles
in the
city
have increased in recent years. It is useful to use wonderful
clothes
trend of
people
. In
this
essay, the two viewpoints will be argued.
To begin
, on the one hand, some
people
believe that there are many different advantages of trend
fashion
of
clothes
in the
city
. The initial one to consider is that some citizens support buying modern
clothes
because it is better for behaviour and
also
looks.
In other words
, when some boys and girls wear fashionable
clothes
, they can obtain power, and energy and feel over the moon.
Moreover
, some humans generate amazing trend
fashion
clothes
and choose
hairstyles
that are costly because they educate
children
to get new information about modern
clothes
and attract boys and girls to show the details around
clothes
and modern
hairstyles
. A study published by New York University concluded that 90% of
people
in recent years in the
city
have bought modern
clothes
for young
people
and
children
.
However
,
on the other hand
, it is believed by some citizens there are many different negatives of
fashion
clothes
for
people
. First of all, some humans can't buy trendy
clothes
on social media for their
children
because it is not basic
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they find and
also
do not have more finances. In other words, we should supply a lot of money to receive poor
people
in many countries.
For example
, studies say these days
people
are increasing in the
city
to improve citizens make better
clothes
for poor
children
. In conclusion, there are no basic answers to
this
topic.
people
have difficult views. From my own personal point of view, a lot of
people
need more information about
fashion
clothes
. It is better to exchange our experience about
this
issue.
Submitted by shaikhaalrashidi24 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt but lacks depth in exploring the reasons behind the trend and its implications. Including more relevant, specific examples will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. The progression between points can be smoother, ensuring that each paragraph transitions logically from one idea to the next. Using linking words effectively will enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Expand the introduction to better set the context for the essay. Introduce the topic in a broader sense before narrowing it down. Similarly, the conclusion can be slightly more detailed to reflect on the main points discussed and provide a definite stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a structured approach with clear paragraphs dedicated to different viewpoints. This is a positive aspect and shows the ability to present balanced arguments.
task achievement
There are attempts to support main points with examples, such as referring to studies and surveys. This is good practice as it adds credibility to your arguments.
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