It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenager. Therefore , Physical education and sport should be compulsory for all the students in all school. What do you think?

#exercise #children #teenager #education #sport #students #school

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Taking part in regular exercises is crucial for the healthy personal development of children and teenagers. I believe that educating young adults about physical fitness and sports is crucial. And should be made compulsory. As it spreads awareness for the same.

This

essay will explore reasons why I believe that physical

education

should be made compulsory with suitable examples.

To begin

with, growing up as a teenager or as a young adult often feels weak and to overcome

this

, children opt

Change preposition

for

show examples

different workouts to get in shape,

such

as running and lifting weights

on-the-go

Correct your spelling

on the go

show examples

This

might not be safe for everyone considering and can cause long-term medical complications

as a result

wrong

Correct article usage

the wrong

show examples

technique.

Furthermore

due to

the lack of awareness and

education

about fitness and ways of living a healthy

lifestyle

, many obese students

fails

Change the verb form

fail

show examples

to reduce their weight, resulting in anxiety, depression and affected personality. Teaching physical

education

as a compulsory subject would spread awareness about the importance of diet, sleep, calorie expenditure and consistency to live a healthy

lifestyle

and motivate students to work on attaining their dream body shape and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

maintaining their healthy

lifestyle

Moreover

, in

current

Correct article usage

the current

show examples

generation

Add a comma

generation,

show examples

a stagnant rise in

obese

Correct article usage

the obese

show examples

population is observed

due to

the negative impact of technological advancement and fast-food companies. To put things into perspective primarily, the current generation

prefer

Change the verb form

prefers

show examples

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

over

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

healthy food because of its addicting taste.

However

this

food lacks nutrition.

Therefore

, becoming a primary cause of long-term medical conditions

such

as heart conditions.

Secondly

, the technological advancements and its addicting content cause a consistent release of dopamine causing mental fatigue and lack of motivation towards improving their

lifestyle

Thus

educating

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apply

show examples

physical

education

is a crucial step in reducing the number of obese people in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. In conclusion, I believe that considering the rising mental health issues, and unhealthy

lifestyle

. I believe that teaching physical

education

can make a significant difference and making

this

subject compulsory could become a major factor against unhealthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

and in improving mental health issues.

Submitted by nick on Sat Aug 17 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task effectively. However, try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific studies or statistics regarding the benefits of physical education.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, but working on more precise language and diverse vocabulary could enhance your essay's clarity and depth.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs. For instance, use more connectives and transitional phrases to link your points better.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph thoroughly supports a single main idea. Some points could be expanded upon or made more concise to avoid redundancy.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, effectively framing your argument.

complete response

The essay covers most aspects of the task, presenting a clear viewpoint on the importance of physical education.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenager. Therefore , Physical education and sport should be compulsory for all the students in all school. What do you think?

Some individuals argue that children should always heed the advice given by their parents, while others believe that children should make decisions independently. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people prefer to eat meals at restaurants, while others like to prepare and eat food in their own home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

"Prevention is better than a cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.

Influence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solution can you suggest?