ou should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinions on this? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
In
this
modern society , there is no doubt that Linking Words
childrens
are spending more time Correct your spelling
children
in
playing Change preposition
apply
video
Use synonyms
games
and some people say that playing violent Use synonyms
games
is the reason for the increase in violence and crime in Use synonyms
the
society . In Correct article usage
apply
this
essay,I will discuss my opinion with some examples from the Newspaper and journals.
Linking Words
To begin
with , First and foremost ,These days young kids are addicted to Linking Words
play
Change the verb form
playing
games
on mobile and Use synonyms
computer
because of Fix the agreement mistake
computers
this
addiction they are not able to concentrate on Linking Words
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
Linking Words
as
a result they won't get good grades in their academic session . Correct word choice
and as
Moreover
,Linking Words
this
habit Linking Words
also
Linking Words
affecting on
their Wrong verb form
affects
mind health
and physical health . Correct word choice
mental
For Example
, a survey done by the Times of India revealed that 80% of Linking Words
Childrens
Correct your spelling
children
are
like to play Unnecessary verb
apply
games
on computers rather than outdoor Use synonyms
games
. they easily get Use synonyms
frustrate
and Wrong verb form
frustrated
loose
their temper Replace the word
lose
on
their parents and friends and they are Change preposition
with
also
suffering from diseases Linking Words
such
as obesity etc because of lack of physical activity.
Linking Words
Secondly
, Nowadays, many Linking Words
games
are violent and children are using abusive Use synonyms
languages
Fix the agreement mistake
language
while
playing these Linking Words
games
. If they use Use synonyms
such
violent and abusive words in Linking Words
the
society Correct article usage
apply
then
nobody will accept Linking Words
this
behaviour . Later ,they will feel isolated and it can be a cause of depression and stress among Linking Words
video
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
holic
kids. Because of Correct word choice
apply
depression
they can commit Add a comma
depression,
crime
.
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
To conclude
, Children should play Linking Words
video
Use synonyms
games
on mobile for fun and Use synonyms
relax
, but they should not get addicted to Replace the word
relaxation
video
Use synonyms
games
. I believe that parents and teachers should encourage Use synonyms
childrens
to play outdoor Correct your spelling
children
games
.Use synonyms
Submitted by preetiaug25 on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
In your body paragraphs, support your main points with specific examples or evidence. If you mention a survey or report, provide more detailed information to enhance credibility.
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task achievement
Aim for clarity in expressing your ideas. Be precise and avoid general statements. Provide thorough explanations and delve deeper into the reasons behind the opinions stated in your essay.
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Incorporate a broader range of relevant examples that are specific and detailed. These could come from your own experience, reliable sources, or hypothetical situations that directly relate to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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