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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is worth researching different minerals ( coal, diamonds, copper, uranium, … ) in space. Others, however, disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. [664]

#people #minerals #diamonds #copper #uranium #space
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Space
 research for various
minerals
 is considered a worthwhile venture by many,
while
 the same notion is heavily refuted by others. In
this
 essay, both given viewpoints will be thoroughly discussed, after which, my stance will be stated and proven. On the one hand, the discovery of new mineral sources can help eradicate contemporary world problems and fuel scientific advancement.
First,
renewable and environmentally friendly energy sources may be found by
space
 researchers, thereby averting eminent energy crises and mitigating environmental contamination on Earth.
Moreover
, scientists can utilize
the
Correct article usage
apply
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novel
minerals
 to facilitate their understanding of other planets.
This
 knowledge not only paves the way for
space
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 but
also
 expedites the search for new liveable habitats for humans once the Earth becomes overcrowded.
On the other hand
, critics point out that
this
 research would have unfair, unethical, and unpredictable repercussions. Regarding
space
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
, they may have to sacrifice their lives
due to
 radiation, the lack of oxygen, and
space
 debris for the sake of others on Earth. Were new
minerals
 successfully found, only the top developed countries, which have advanced
space
 industries, would get access to those resources. The
likelihoods
Fix the agreement mistake
likelihood
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 that they would be capitalized and may be unaffordable for the underprivileged population. In extreme cases,
this
 could potentially lead to conflicts and wars over
possession
Correct article usage
the possession
show examples
 of new
minerals
. In conclusion, both schools of thought have their own justifications;
however
, I yield to the former idea on the grounds of its long-term values that can expand our knowledge horizons and revolutionise our ways of life.
Submitted by Andy on

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relevant specific examples
While the essay is coherent and well-structured, providing specific examples could enhance the credibility of your arguments. Including data or referencing actual research attempts could make your points stronger.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task, discussing both views thoroughly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a logical start and end.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported, logically structured, and easy to follow.
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