Some people think that the government is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #crime #prevention #individuals #responsibility

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The

crime

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rate has been rising at a faster rate. Yet is not clear who is more responsible for preventing

crime

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whether the

government

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should take responsibility or the

society

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is itself accountable for stopping the offence. I believe that the

government

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will be more chargeable for alleviating

crimes

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To begin

Linking Words

with, governing bodies are the most powerful authorities and

thus

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, more responsible for protecting their citizens. If the

government

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implements strict policies against murderers, thieves and robbers

then

Linking Words

perhaps it would reduce the number and intensity of the

crimes

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. To take an example, most people commit

crimes

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because they think the punishments are not as harsh as they need to be.

Therefore

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, executing punishments like lifetime imprisonment and high charges for breaking rules would be an effective measure in reducing

crime

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levels.

Overall

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, these strategies cannot be developed by

society

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on its own

thus

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, hold authorities more responsibly.

Although

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there are numerous measures from the

government

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side to protect

society

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, individuals need to protect themselves and run some safety measures for their own safety.

Firstly

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, they protect themselves by avoiding more populated areas especially if they are wearing gold items and carrying expensive items.

Secondly

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, it is evident that most

crime

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occurs after dawn. So, people have to stop wandering alone in

such

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dark areas. As it could reduce the possibility of being robbed.

Moreover

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, locking doors and windows at night is an additional protective measure.

Thus

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, making small efforts from the personal level not only brings prosperity to the nation but

also

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aids betterment of the

society

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against

crimes

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To conclude

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, I believe that governing bodies can reduce the levels of

such

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crimes

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by implementing stricter policies

such

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as putting criminals behind bars

while

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society

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also

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needs to follow some protective measures to stop

such

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happenings.

Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on Sat Aug 17 2024

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logical structure

Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for the argument, but you should briefly mention the opposing view to offer a more balanced outlook from the beginning. This will help improve the logical structure.

relevant specific examples

While you have included some examples, they are somewhat general. Including more specific examples and statistics could strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

logical structure

Some transitions between ideas can be smoother. For example, adding transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand' can make your arguments flow more naturally.

introduction conclusion present

You have a well-developed conclusion that summarizes your main points and gives a clear opinion.

complete response

You address both viewpoints and provide reasons for your opinions, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

logical structure

The essay is well-organized with distinct paragraphs for each main idea, which helps in presenting your arguments clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Some people think that the government is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

An increasing number of people are buying whta they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online?

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

The obesity rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many developed countries. discuss some possible reasons for this problem and suggest solutions

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?