Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In
this
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era, it seems to be true that most citizens who experience mental and physical disorders in their body prefer to utilize some homemade mixtures which can be considered tablets or painkillers
instead
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of taking advice from their professional doctors. From my perspective,
this
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trend can pose numerous difficulties to whoever consumes it, and these problems will be discussed in
this
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essay. To commence, utilizing alternative cures would be useful to most people for several reasons. To clarify, the people who live far from the hospital can use several methods to cure their children by themselves as it not only saves money spent on logistic purposes,
as well as
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it can
also
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be the first-aid treatment, and can be useful in treating some common diseases like flu and headache. As an example, in our country, the mixture of garlic and ginger is commonly used by parents to cure headaches.
However
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, they fail to understand that, in the worst cases these kinds of treatments can be dangerous to a patient’s health.
In other words
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, the most common symptoms like high temperature and headache can be posed by another deadly disease that must be treated immediately.
On the other hand
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, in order to sell their products some people would lie to their customers about the ingredients they added to their products. To be specific, if the consumer has an allergic reaction to the ingredient they would feel bad, and even in the worst cases they would die as well. In conclusion,
although
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, utilizing some alternative medicine can cut the time and money expenses, we cannot rely on everything to cure ourselves
due to
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some side effects that they can pose.
Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the potential benefits and dangers of alternative medicine.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the writer's perspective.
logical structure
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a logical structure to the essay.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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