At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages whats your opinion?

Today's society is facing numerous issues

due to

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the

overall

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increase in population. In

this

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current era, the total

number

Use synonyms

of people in some nations includes a relatively high

number

Use synonyms

of youngsters in comparison with the

number

Use synonyms

of the older generation. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages with concrete examples for the above-stated opinion. On the one hand, one prominent advantage of having more young adults in a

country

Use synonyms

is that new technologies will be introduced. To illustrate nowadays, technology is a main source for developing countries.

Therefore

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, they are involved with technology and introduce many features day by day.

For example

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, In North America, a person called Jim Kia has created a software application that uses artificial intelligence to conduct advanced research effectively and efficiently.

Additionally

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, it helps to

country

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's economic growth. To illustrate the highest

number

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of young people existing in a

country

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will increase the employment rate.

Thus

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, it will help to increase the

country

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's financial stability.

On the other hand

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, one prominent disadvantage of having more young adults in a society is cultural disorder. In brief, in comparison with older people nowadays, youngsters not following the culture, and because of

this

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society faces numerous problems

such

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as rape and murder.

For instance

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, In India recently there was a rape attempt happened for a tourist.

This

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is done by a set of youngsters

due to

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this

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the

country

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faced numerous issues. In conclusion,

while

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it has disadvantages like cultural disorder, the advantages

such

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as new technologies will be introduced and the

country

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's economic growth offers are undeniable.

Therefore

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I strongly believe the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks.

shruthiudhai7

Aug 17, 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point for better clarity.

Task Achievement

While your main points are well articulated, you can enhance them by providing more specific examples and detailed explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion

Be careful with grammar and punctuation; minor errors are present. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction outlining the topic and main argument.

Task Achievement

You have supported your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
economic growth
innovation
burden
resources
intergenerational
vibrancy
social security
underemployment
population pyramid
creativity
cultural movements
public services
wisdom
balance

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At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages whats your opinion?

Some human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem while others think effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views.

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school unti; they are older. discuss both views and give your opinion.