At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages whats your opinion?

Today's society is facing numerous issues
due to
the
overall
increase in population. In
this
current era, the total
number
of people in some nations includes a relatively high
number
of youngsters in comparison with the
number
of the older generation. In
this
essay, I will explain why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages with concrete examples for the above-stated opinion. On the one hand, one prominent advantage of having more young adults in a
country
is that new technologies will be introduced. To illustrate nowadays, technology is a main source for developing countries.
Therefore
, they are involved with technology and introduce many features day by day.
For example
, In North America, a person called Jim Kia has created a software application that uses artificial intelligence to conduct advanced research effectively and efficiently.
Additionally
, it helps to
country
's economic growth. To illustrate the highest
number
of young people existing in a
country
will increase the employment rate.
Thus
, it will help to increase the
country
's financial stability.
On the other hand
, one prominent disadvantage of having more young adults in a society is cultural disorder. In brief, in comparison with older people nowadays, youngsters not following the culture, and because of
this
society faces numerous problems
such
as rape and murder.
For instance
, In India recently there was a rape attempt happened for a tourist.
This
is done by a set of youngsters
due to
this
the
country
faced numerous issues. In conclusion,
while
it has disadvantages like cultural disorder, the advantages
such
as new technologies will be introduced and the
country
's economic growth offers are undeniable.
Therefore
I strongly believe the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by shruthiudhai7 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point for better clarity.
Task Achievement
While your main points are well articulated, you can enhance them by providing more specific examples and detailed explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction outlining the topic and main argument.
Task Achievement
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

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