At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages whats your opinion?

#time #populations #countries #adults #people #situation #whats

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Today's society is facing numerous issues

due to

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the

overall

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increase in population. In

this

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current era, the total

number

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of people in some nations includes a relatively high

number

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of youngsters in comparison with the

number

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of the older generation. In

this

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essay, I will explain why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages with concrete examples for the above-stated opinion. On the one hand, one prominent advantage of having more young adults in a

country

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is that new technologies will be introduced. To illustrate nowadays, technology is a main source for developing countries.

Therefore

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, they are involved with technology and introduce many features day by day.

For example

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, In North America, a person called Jim Kia has created a software application that uses artificial intelligence to conduct advanced research effectively and efficiently.

Additionally

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, it helps to

country

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's economic growth. To illustrate the highest

number

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of young people existing in a

country

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will increase the employment rate.

Thus

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, it will help to increase the

country

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's financial stability.

On the other hand

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, one prominent disadvantage of having more young adults in a society is cultural disorder. In brief, in comparison with older people nowadays, youngsters not following the culture, and because of

this

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society faces numerous problems

such

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as rape and murder.

For instance

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, In India recently there was a rape attempt happened for a tourist.

This

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is done by a set of youngsters

due to

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this

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the

country

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faced numerous issues. In conclusion,

while

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it has disadvantages like cultural disorder, the advantages

such

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as new technologies will be introduced and the

country

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's economic growth offers are undeniable.

Therefore

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I strongly believe the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by shruthiudhai7 on Sat Aug 17 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point for better clarity.

Task Achievement

While your main points are well articulated, you can enhance them by providing more specific examples and detailed explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion

Be careful with grammar and punctuation; minor errors are present. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction outlining the topic and main argument.

Task Achievement

You have supported your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

276 words

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At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages whats your opinion?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages? (Nguyen)

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. However, it is longer the main form of transport. What are the reasons? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycle among the wider population?