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Writing Samples
Band 8

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion mil be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

#idea #career #fashion #mil #careers #money #education #life
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When it comes to career goals and education, there have been some major
changes
 over the past few decades. Before, it was considered a great success to become proficient in a certain skill and continue working the same job through one’s whole
life
. The financial support provided by engaging in a certain career was enough to live a comfortable
life
 and the required time to do so wouldn’t allow second guessing. Each lifetime was equal to one dream. Nowadays things are much different. Technology has made learning a new skill as simple as it gets. With the help of computers and online instructors, anything is possible: be it taking part in something as a hobby or a new job.
While
 the prospect of
such
 various opportunities might sound delightful to some individuals, for others they might be choices forced upon them by financial aspects. The cost of living has climbed considerably, forcing people to grasp every opportunity for
further
 income and pushing the society to spend a greater portion of their
life
 aspiring to gain new skills. Another important factor is the
overall
 economical instability. Overnight
changes
 of prices, companies downsizing and market
changes
 makes the
overall
 situation unpredictable. What was once considered a stable route of income might change overnight. leaving the traditional family to struggle with the aftermath. It is
also
 beneficial to consider the role of hobbies.
For example
 in the past, some woman used to cook desserts or sew clothes for their own enjoyment. Presently, the same act with the help of social media and a set of simple editing skills can be used as a way to gain more money. It is no surprise that people would favor turning their free time into money if they had the chance.
Overall
, there are many factors contributing to society’s change of view on careers and educational goals and it is hard to pinpoint what is more important but one thing is for certain: the said
changes
 has made
life
 more enjoyable, enabling more and more people to reach their dream.
Submitted by anahitakhosravi4 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider refining your use of linking words and phrases to make the flow of ideas even smoother. This can enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
task response
Be mindful of grammatical errors and syntax issues. Polishing your grammar will strengthen the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-introduced and concluded, providing a clear response to the task.
task response
The examples provided, such as the impact of technology and hobbies turning into income, are relevant and strengthen your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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