Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In today’s society,
people
’s perspectives on
health
issues have significantly transformed. When
people
encounter
health
problems, some tend to try alternative medicines and treatments rather than visiting their usual doctors.
Therefore
, the question of whether
this
trend is positive has become a considerable debate. From my perspective, I believe that
this
phenomenon brings about adverse impacts on
people
. There are several reasons why
this
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
causes certain disadvantages.
Firstly
, in today’s digital age,
people
have ready access to a wide range of information about treatments, but many of these resources have not been verified.
Therefore
, when individuals deploy these approaches, it may lead to more serious
health
problems.
Moreover
, the increase in the number of pharmacies provides
people
with the convenience and availability to purchase medicines, reducing the need to spend a considerable amount of time at hospitals or clinics. In
such
cases, even though
people
may have a disease, they are still more likely to rely solely on alternative medicine without seeking professional treatment, which could contribute to their
health
deteriorating over time.
However
, it is undeniable that finding treatment solutions independently can bring certain positive effects.
For instance
, it allows
people
to alleviate their pain immediately without having to wait in a hospital.
Nevertheless
,
this
can prevent
people
from gaining a deeper understanding of their
health
situation, leading to treatment delays and posing detrimental impacts on one’s
health
. Ultimately,
this
evidence demonstrates that
such
behaviour has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
adverse impact. In conclusion, in the contemporary era,
people
have easy access to a wide range of treatments and alternative medicines, which can lead to significant disadvantages and negative effects on an individual's
health
.
Submitted by zora840810 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, which is maintained throughout the text. It addresses both the positive and negative aspects of the trend, which demonstrates a balanced approach. However, incorporating more specific examples could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured and easy to follow. However, there should be a clearer distinction between paragraphs to enhance readability. Transitions between ideas are generally smooth but could be further refined.
coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraph development is consistent across all sections. For instance, the paragraph discussing the positive aspects of alternative medicines could be expanded to include more detail and examples.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a strong introduction that clearly outlines the main topic and presents the writer's perspective.
clear comprehensive ideas
Good use of vocabulary and sentence structures, which adds to the overall clarity of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: