The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.
The pie chart compares the
usage
of six technologies among 18 to 25 aged people in Canada in 2009 and 2019.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the average
usage
of conventional
TV
dramatically declined
at the end
.
Whereas
the percentage of flat-screen
TV
subscribers enormously increased. In 2009, 34% of the average Canadian person preference went on conventional television,
while
its better version, flat-screen
TV
was used only by 8% of people. By 2019, screen time spent on normal
TV
experienced a huge shrink, falling by 30%.
Whereas
Flat-screen TVs reached 27% of average
usage
.
By contrast
, in both years the fraction of Canadians watching
TV
shows by Desktop computer was fairly constant, from 18% in 2009 to 12% in 2019. Watching on laptops accounted for one of the highest proportions of Canadian preferences with 20%, but only the fourth highest proportion sharing
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
with Desktop PCs in 2019.
Furthermore
,
usage
of tablets and cell phones
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
was reaching only 5% and 19% respectively.
However
, over the years they received a considerable improvement, reaching a value of 19% and 26%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words usage, tv with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • 18 to 25 age group
  • devices
  • watch television
  • Canada
  • comparison
  • shift
  • preferences
  • mobile devices
  • traditional televisions
  • technological advancements
  • television viewing habits
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