Today people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the advantages of throwing away society outweigh the disadvantages?
It is often argued that more and more married
couples
tend to choose a life without children
. Beeing
able to prioritize their Correct your spelling
Being
career
pathway and having more free time
can be seen as benefits, while
having nobody to look after them at a certain age and families
wanting to spend time
with other families
are considered drawbacks.
To begin
with, one of the most commonly used advantage
is that individuals can focus more on their Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
career
,
if they do not have Remove the comma
apply
children
. This
is simply because having a child can be compared to a full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
job. Parents
need to care for their children
by providing food, adequate housing and healthy food. As a result
, many mothers and fathers struggle with this
and may not have enough time
to fully commit to their working career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Furthermore
, childless couples
have more free time
, because they do not have to supervise any children
. Consequently
, they can spend more time
with their peers or pursue a hobby that turns out to be more time consuming
. Add a hyphen
time-consuming
For example
, couples
that decide to not have a child can go for drinks with their friends without having to worry about being at home at a specific time
because their children
can not be left alone at home.
However
, one of the main drawbacks is that married couples
do not have anybody to look after them when they will be
older. Wrong verb form
are
That is
to say, children
most commonly are the ones to care for their parents
, because that is
what they did when they were younger. Moreover
, families
consisting of parents
and children
preferably spend their leisure time
with other families
. Consequently
, it might be challenging for them to find a suitable peer group. This
can lead to a lack of social interaction, which increases the risk of depression an
anxiety. Correct your spelling
and
For instance
, a lot of parents
organize play dates, where their children
can play together, while
mothers or fathers are able to have a chat.
In conclusion, while
it might seem disadvantageous to have children
because they may not have anyone to take of them when they are old or families
decide to do things with other families
, there are definitely some advantages, such
as better career
options and secured free time
.Submitted by philipp_becker on
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task achievement
Ensure that you address each part of the prompt thoroughly. Your essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages well, but expanding a bit more on each point could enhance your argument even further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs. However, try using a variety of linking phrases to make your transitions even smoother.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences are repetitive, especially when discussing the advantages or disadvantages. Vary your sentence structure to keep the reader engaged.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay, making it easy to follow your arguments.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, which strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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