There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheels. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#inventions #history #wheels #people #internet

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There have been a number of inventions including wheels created by

people

in history. It is often believed that the

Internet

is the most significant of all. I partially disagree with

this

, for other electric machines

such

as air-conditioners are more crucial for the survival of

people

regardless of the fact that the

Internet

has led to the arrival of the

information

era. On the one hand, home appliances including an air-conditioner are essential for

people

to have a comfortable life without having any effect from the change of the temperature.

In other words

people

are not only able to protect themselves from severe cold and heat but

also

enjoy various activities at home.

Furthermore

, an air-conditioner, always adjusting the temperature, has allowed

people

to work for extended hours, which expands business and contributes greatly to national economic power.

Therefore

,air-conditioners have improved the standard of living and promoted more industries as

people

's actions are not restricted by the temperature.

On the other hand

, the

Internet

is certainly one of the most sophisticated inventions in human history as

people

are able to access an incredible amount of

information

in a day. Indeed,

information

ranging from sports to science boosts their knowledge and skills without even attending schools or reading academic books.

For instance

, I was able to knit a sweater by myself thanks to the abundant

information

and practical tips provided online.

Thus

, the progress of the

Internet

has encouraged

people

to gain diverse skills and experience, which may be useful in every aspect of their lives. In conclusion, I somewhat disagree that the

Internet

is the most influential invention as an air-conditioner protects the life of

people

from hostile temperatures, expanding their activities during the day.

However

, the

Internet

is crucial

due to

a ton of

information

available each day, from which

people

can gain convenient knowledge and techniques.

Submitted by mizuho on Sun Aug 18 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure the essay stays within a formal tone consistently, avoiding any conversational phrases.

Coherence and Cohesion

Add transitional phrases and words to further improve the coherence of your argument.

Task Achievement

Focus on deepening your analysis by providing additional examples or counterarguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay presents a balanced argument, considering both sides of the debate.

Task Achievement

Main points are logically structured and well-supported with relevant examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

revolutionized
instantaneous
global communication
transform industries
democratized access
geographic and economic barriers
social connectivity
global communities
cultural exchange
telemedicine
foundational frameworks

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There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheels. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Write a letter to a city planning manager about demolition of a historical building in your area and say – Explain why it shouldn’t be demolished. – Suggest a future use for this building. – Recommend a way to raise money for repairs.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?