Nowadays famous players are followed by young adults some people think it's a positive trend and believe otherwise what do you think is it a positive or negative trend
In the present climate, famous athletes are known as role models for the youngsters. I tend to find myself in agreement with
this
approach as it can motivate teenagers and enhance the value of sport among society members.
One explanation for approving of the mentioned mindset is its incentive nature. It means that by imitating sports pioneers teenagers will be motivated to exercise. Linking Words
For instance
, Ali Dayee, Who is a very well-known football player in Iran, has motivated a number of young players in both personal and professional lives leading to determined citizens. Linking Words
Therefore
, It can act as a tool in nurturing motivated generations.
Another potential benefit of following successful players can be seen in the growing rate of tendency toward sport in a community Linking Words
that is
conducive to more efficiency and vibrancy. It is proven that since the advent of social media, the inclination towards regular exercise has displayed an upward trend. take Cristiano Ronaldo, who has over 500 million followers on Instagram, as an example who has encouraged many teenagers to do sports. Linking Words
Hence
, it can be deduced that over 500,000,000 individuals care about sports because of him.
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On the other hand
, it cannot be denied that those people are not proper role models all the time. To illustrate, some have detrimental habits Linking Words
such
as alcohol addiction or misconducted behaviours that may result in a growing misdemeanour rate. Linking Words
However
, It seems rational to accept that by educating children on how to distinguish ethical values Linking Words
this
issue can be dealt with.
In conclusion, it can be discerned the more the players are taken as role models the more benefits will be gained for societies and residents. They should be chosen out of knowledge, Linking Words
nevertheless
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Submitted by samirakasraee72 on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured with clear main points, try to develop the conclusion further by summarizing key points discussed in the body paragraphs and providing a more decisive statement.
task achievement
To elevate the essay to a higher level, maintain consistent language and avoid minor grammatical errors. For example, pay attention to article usage and verb agreements.
task achievement
You have successfully included specific examples, such as Ali Dayee and Cristiano Ronaldo, to support your arguments. This greatly strengthens your essay and shows practical relevance.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is commendable. Each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, which helps maintain the reader's interest.