In some countries, it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views
The starting points of schooling may differ in every part of the world. Particular countries tend to start formal
education
in the early years, whereas
others have it differently, allowing children to start school
at seven or eight years old. In my perspective, I believe starting formal education
at older ages would be better because they can be more mature and will have more chances to focus on making positive memories as a normal child should have.
Becoming more mature would prepare them to deal with hard situations because formal schooling requires critical thinking more academically. This
will teach them the importance of discipline manner, which makes them controllable and not overlook education
. For instance
, a school
that is
mainly attended by older students hardly has problems due to
the high sense of responsibility that has been embedded in them since they rarely throw a tantrum as younger children and are capable in
reading the room.
Change preposition
of
Furthermore
, it would be better for small children to have some opportunities to create numerous meaningful memories before facing serious academic activities. Thus
, it results in less stressful lives, which can certainly impact their futures. To exemplify, In Japan, young ages often start schooling earlier, but as they grow older, they become unmotivated to go to school
because of the burdens that they have been enduring for a long time. As a result
, they would prefer to drop out of school
.
To summarize, having an education
at an early age would lead to negative outcomes, such
as resisting themselves to learn, while
at older ages they might have more serious and responsible demeanours towards education
. Therefore
, giving school
education
at that age would be more acceptable, which also
considers their readiness for schooling.Submitted by hanalyaa29 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Make sure to provide balanced views about both sides of the argument. Although you clearly support starting education at an older age, discussing the benefits of starting early could provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly. Some transitions could be improved to link ideas more cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Try to incorporate more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your opinion is well-stated, making it clear which side of the argument you support.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your main points, making your arguments stronger.