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Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

#people #success #career #education
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There is no doubt that a lot of people want to be successful through academic and professional accomplishments but many of humankind have different goals to achieve.
This
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 essay will review some of the desired aims and I will describe my point of view on being outstanding. It is obvious that the most common way to accomplish dreams is to,
firstly
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, graduate from a high-level university and,
secondly
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, to be employed by a well-known firm.
However
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, some people think that success is having a monetary advantage and they fancy a large amount of profit. A great example of
that is
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 the older Kardashian sister, who became famous because of her siblings. Until recent years she was considered successful because of her financial status, yet she did not work to pay the bills.
Furthermore
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, some of the human species define success as being powerful and, unfortunately, most of the time in a bad way.
For instance
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, the president of Russia, Vladimir Putin holds to his power of country management and control for more than 20 years and is afraid to lose it and his admirers consider him as one of the most victorious in the world. I am of the opinion that success is to be respected because of my personal achievements in all spheres of life whether it is being an exceptional daughter, sister for now and a mom in the future, making progress at work or having a good academic history. I would like
to conclude
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 by saying that people are different from each other and our dreams are individual.
Submitted by nyannche on

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task achievement
Provide more specific and diverse examples to strengthen your arguments, as this will support your main points more effectively and enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Work on slightly improving the logical flow between ideas within paragraphs to make your essay even more cohesive. Linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly will result in a better coherence score.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and serve their purpose well, providing a good structure for the essay.
task achievement
You've addressed the prompt thoroughly, discussing different meanings of success and providing your personal view, which shows a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
What to do next:
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