IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the averages percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrities all whic unhealthy if eaten too much

The chart below shows the averages percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrities all whic unhealthy if eaten too much
The provided three pie charts illustrate the average proportions of
sodium
Use synonyms
,saturated fat and
add
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
types
Use synonyms
 of
nutrients
Use synonyms
 in four particular meals .It indicates that
this
Linking Words
 nutrient is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
healthy if people make
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 when consuming it .
Overall
Linking Words
, by having a cursory glance
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the chart, it can be seen that dinner has the
most high
Change the adjective
highest
show examples
 average rate in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated
while
Linking Words
 snack has the highest in
add
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
Use synonyms
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
 consumed . To commence,
sodium
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 the same percentage
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
consumed in breakfast and
snack
Correct subject-verb agreement
snacks
show examples
 about 14% of
nutrients
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 other people consume more
porportions
Correct your spelling
proportions
 of it in the dinner meal about 43%
types
Use synonyms
nurients
Correct your spelling
nutrients
.The second huge
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of
sodium
Use synonyms
 in the lunch
about
Add a missing verb
is about
show examples
 29%
nutrients
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, breakfast meal has the same rate of saturated fats and added sugar about 16%
Use synonyms
nutrients
Change preposition
of nutrients
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
dinner in saturated fats has the highest rate
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with
add
Wrong verb form
added
show examples
Use synonyms
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
types
Use synonyms
 about 37%
nutrients
Use synonyms
. In added
Use synonyms
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
types
Use synonyms
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
 seem the most consumed about 42% which indicates to dangerous to use
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 amount of sugar . And it is normal
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 most of
snacks
Add an article
the snacks
show examples
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 lots of
Use synonyms
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
 and unhealthy food .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, suger, types, nutrients with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "indicates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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