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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and tabl ebelliw give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The chart and tabl ebelliw give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#tabl #ebelliw #information #tourists #holiday #resort #australia #features #comparisons
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The pie chart illustrates the percentages of visitors
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to the
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 resort
while
Linking Words
 the table displays the data of travellers about activities, accommodation and length of stay based on the four different regions.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Asia
Use synonyms
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 had a significantly higher proportion of
tourists
Use synonyms
like
Correct pronoun usage
who like
show examples
 to travel to Australia in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 period
while
Linking Words
 enjoying expensive trips
whereas
Linking Words
 other
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 had the lowest number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 trying to experience unique adventures. Looking at the total figure and main interest of vacationers,
Asia
Use synonyms
 placed at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
number one with less than
two fifths
Add a hyphen
two-fifths
show examples
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America placed
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third place
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for just below a fifth. Both of them preferred sightseeing.
Next,
Linking Words
Europe fell a close
second,
Linking Words
accounting
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 slightly more than a third and they chose to swim or
sunbathing
Wrong verb form
sunbathe
show examples
. As for the lowest
tourists
Use synonyms
 held by other states with one in ten and they like to surf. Regarding
night
Fix the agreement mistake
nights
show examples
 spent, both Europe and
tourists
Use synonyms
 from other regions picked camping or caravan to spend their night
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 more than a week, 16 and 10 days, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America and
Asia
Use synonyms
 were more into luxury
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 but American people
stays
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 two times longer than
Asia
Use synonyms
 visitors.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words asia, tourists with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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